Revenge of the Smurfs
We’ve all seen the little blue people on TV, in cartoons, and staring in their own movie. Incase you were wondering what Smurfs are, they are tiny blue people, three apples high, have long noses and wear white pants. Not to mention they all have their own names based on their personality; such as Handy Smurf, and Vanity Smurf. They may seem cute to the naked eye, but what is said in these pages are true. I am an expert on the mythology of Smurfs. Let me warn you, if your childhood means anything to you, this story is not for you, as these creatures are revealed to show their true colours, and what they really are hiding.
It all started one morning when I woke up from a nap. I had fallen asleep on the couch as usual, my book “Fairies, Gnomes and Elves” turned upside down rested on my lap. I remembered what I had later been doing before I had drifted off. I flicked to the page that I had marked using bright yellow biro.
“Chapter 7, hidden worlds”, I read aloud to myself. So far I had found nothing on “Smurfs”. I didn’t understand, the name was cute sounding, but I didn’t believe they were anything like that. I know what you’re thinking. I believe in Smurfs, right? I just have this feeling, like a sixth sense.
I am not normal actually, so I guess that would explain why I feel this way. You see, my grandfather’s name was Gargamel, and his godfather’s name was Balthazar. Grandfather was obsessed with Smurfs, that my parents didn’t allow for me to see him. Ever since I was young, I was fascinated by the potions and interesting books that my Grandfather had. Once I was old enough, I would sneak out and visit him at his house, just outside the city. I earned the tram fair and would stay at his house the whole day, learning about what he did. He was a wizard, and I looked up to him. On the second last day of September, I told them I was staying at my friend’s house when instead I was once again visiting my beloved grandfather. Today was the day I would finally brew my own potion. What amazed me most was that the strange liquid actually worked. One time he showed me a growth potion and tried it out on an ant. In seconds I watched as the tiny ant grew to the size of my fingernail.
“This potion is not the strongest, but is the easiest to learn” I remember him telling me.
I distinctly remember getting on the tram, paying then getting off when the time was right and making the journey to grandfathers home. His house was a three story, made of old wooden panels and grey tiles and was located next to the forest. The windows were assorts of shapes a most had cracks in them. The driveway was a large gate with the letter G carved into it. The gates would slowly creek open at the slightest breeze. The ground was gravel and lead all the way up to the house. Not many people visited grandfather. He never received any mail, or phone calls or anything. Actually he didn’t even own a phone. He pretty much kept to himself, locked away from the outside world with his ginger cat Azrael.
That day when I was in his laboratory selecting the perfect liquids to create my first potion, there was a knock at the door. Grandfather looked at me with a cocked eyebrow and I shrugged. He mumbled curses under his breath and I followed him to the front door. To my surprise it was my parents. They were fuming, and yelled at me. All trust that they believed I had no longer existed. At the time, I was 13. That’s when I moved out of home and lived with my grandfather. I am now 17.
I sat up and dusted myself of. I closed the book and placed it back on the shelves were the other books lived.
Grandfather must be in the laboratory?
I made my way down the twittered steps, trailing my hand against the cold stone wall. I walked out into the room, and sure enough there was my grandfather head deep in a book, one hand flipping pages, the other hand scribbling down on a stained piece of paper. He looked up when he heard me come in.
“Oh Brady good! You’re up!” he said, taking his eyes of his work to look up and smile his rotten grin at me.
“Grandfather? I was wondering…Can I go into the forest and look for the Smurf’s village?” I asked nervously.
He shot me one of his evil looks.
“What! No, no, no! I’m studying this map of the forest to figure out the whereabouts of these stupid little people!” he answered back, his index finger pointing to a picture of them. I picked up the picture and held a tight smile. About a week ago grandfather had requested I make this errand for him.
“Go into the city and into one of those places where you eat and type on the big box and you copy an image of the Smurfs!” he had explained. I understood perfectly what he meant. I had caught the tram to the Internet Café and printed out a photo of the Smurfs.
“There were so many, so I hope this is what you were after” I told him giving him the photo. He let out a growl and pined it to his dart board.
“Why people think the Smurfs are- adorable is beyond my wildest imagination” he cried.
“Grandfather you do have a wild imagination” I informed him.
“No, no, no! These Smurfs will not be here one day! I will find them, and crush them, there will be no more Smurfs!” he cheered.
“Grandfather you know, people will still celebrate them, and make figures of them and create shows about them”.
“I know! But with these little creatures gone! I will be the most powerful wizard of them all! With their magic I will be unstoppable!” grandfather added.
It wasn’t long until I had fully convinced him to let me go out and search for them. I was up in my room, going through my potions when I came across the perfect one. “Vanishing Potion”. I swallowed the whole bottle and took Azrael. I crept through the misty forest, carefully watching were I stood. Just because I was invisible, didn’t mean I still couldn’t be heard. Azrael became flat on his stomach and hissed at something in the distance.
“Shhh” I whispered. The foolish cat looked around with suspicion and crawled over to a nearby tree. I continued to slowly walk forward when I heard a flapping sound. It was the wings of a stork, I could tell. Azrael seemed to hear it to and growled under his breath. I trudged along forward and heard the cries of “Woo hoo!” and “Look out Clumsy”. It was Clumsy Smurf and Smurfette. I could tell it was Smurfette because of her familiar, dainty voice. It was so calm and full of happiness. Grandfather had created the blonde haired Smurf, as a trap to lure the other Smurf’s in. The plan would off worked, if that dreaded Papa Smurf hadn’t used his magic to transform her into one of them. The sound of the storks grew louder, and I could sense they were becoming closer. As I walked forward I reached a clearing in the forest floor. As I looked into the blue sky I could clearly see two storks, and on each a blue figure sat on top of them. I squinted my eyes for better vision. I was right about who it was.
I watched as the birds got lower and lower, and finally fluttered into the clearing. I watched as Smurfette jumped of the bird. Her tiny blade shimmered when the sun caught it. Her eyes were dark blue, and her hair was as it normally was; long locks of blonde. Long for her, but about the size of a humans hand for us. She wore her white dressed, and I noticed it was stained with blood. The smell was overwhelming. Animal’s blood. I recognized it. I used it in a few potions. She was the Queen Bee Smurf. She loved Papa, but showed no mercy on any Smurf around her. She was like the ring leader. The other Smurf, Clumsy Smurf, staggered of the stork and tripped over his own feet. His small hand reached out at Smurfette dress and ripped a small piece of silk of.
“Smurfette! I’m so, so, sorry-“he cried, begging on his knees. Smurfette turned around with a gleam in her eyes.
“Clumsy dear. Look what you did” he smirked at the Smurf.
“This was my favourite Smurfin’ dress”. I felt mentally sick when I heard the word Smurf. I wish they would learn proper vocabulary, not go around say “smurf”.
“You know what that means!” she cried loudly. Clumsy glared at her and got off his feet. He drew back his sword from his belt and held it up to her. Within a few milli seconds, Smurfette blade was facing him to.
