My Saving Grace (Niall Horan FanFic)

Somebody to Love

            Everybody wants someone to care for and someone to love them back. We want someone whose arms pull you in tight and keeps you there, placing lingering kissed to your forehead. A person to say “I love you” just because they do, and mean it; that one person who makes you feel larger than life. I lost that person when Daddy died. I know my mom can never be that person, to love me the way she used to; Every time she looks at me she sees my father in me. I guess that is a good thing because that means we still have a little piece of him. The only problem is that it makes me feel even worse. It just makes me want to cut more.

            I know I shouldn’t mess with my body like that but when the knife first makes contact and that first drop of red blood seeps out it just feels so good to relieve all the stress built up in me, it makes me forget everything that is on my mind at the moment. There is no way I can stop now. I am too happy with the feeling it gives me to stop. I guess you could say I am addicted. Once you get addicted to something it is close to impossible to stop. I have been told I should see a therapist, but I will be fine on my own…….right?  Oh well, I will be fine, and if not, who is there to judge me? No one cares enough.

            Well, I guess someone does care, but he isn’t here anymore to stop me so he doesn’t count. Maybe if I believed in a god it would change things, but God doesn’t exist so that doesn’t work. I might get extremely lucky and meet someone who will actually care, like my dad did…..maybe even more if that is even possible. One day……maybe, just maybe.

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*Flashback*

            I was just sitting in my pitch black room, the lights off and my curtains closed, on the night of the “accident” and I was crying my eyes out. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or even come out of my room, but then out of the blue I get a phone call. I check my phone to make sure nothing else happened. I was surprised when I saw that it was Jordan.

            “Hey Jordi…..is something wrong,” I ask, my voice shaking.

            “What happened today?” I can hear her straining to talk.

            “My dad was killed by a drunk driver…..” tears streaming down my face.

            “I’m so sorry Harmony. Is there anything you need me to do?”

“Can you come over, please? I could use a friend right now,” fear in my voice, scare she will say no.

“Sure. I’ll be over in 10 minutes tops,” and with that she hung up.

Well at least I will have a shoulder to cry on for the time being. Maybe she can help me get over this a little more. Ha, if only I could get over this without depending on someone else, So I don’t have the fear of losing them as well…..but for now I just need someone here on this earth, someone with flesh and blood that can hold me in their arms while I bawl until I fall asleep. Next thing I know there is a hard, loud knock at the door. I open it to see Jordan with tears already filling her eyes. I am lucky to have her (While she is here). She walks in and the first thing she does is pulls me into a tight hug that almost suffocates me.

“I am super sorry Harmony. There is no way anyone could have done anything. But I am here for you whenever you need me.”

“Thanks. I just miss him. He was all I had. I have never been close to my mom and I don’t have any other family. Thank you for coming too. No one else cared enough to check on me.”

For the next 3 ½ hours we just sat on my bed and talked about any and everything. She kept the subject off of my dad the entire time and I cannot thank her enough. She just fills the atmosphere with a positive attitude, and it is just so contagious. After she left I felt much better, in a sense. She always knows just what to say. I think that is why I like her so much: She knows how to light up the room without trying. But now she is on her way home. I am here alone with no one to lean on now……..