On the edge

Chapter 8: When we fell

Amandine winked at James with a cheeky smile when he and Sue left the restaurant and patted his shoulder several times. Her entire face basically said, "Go get her, Tiger!" before slowly melting down to a teary, "Awww, baby's all grown up now."
"Say hello to maman from me," she said before letting go of James' shoulder and waved goodbye as he and Sue made their way back to his car.
"Should I drive you home..?" James asked, two minutes down the street.
Sue looked at him and shrugged.
"I mean, do you have anything else... Planned? Somewhere you need to be?" he inquired further.
Just in case Sue had had enough of him for the day, at least she wouldn't have to say so. She could simply, and very politely, pretend to have things to do and places to be.
"Do you?" the red-haired asked a counter question, to which James responded by shaking his head.
"Beach, maybe," Sue said, and James nodded quietly.

"That's what I usually do on quiet Sunday afternoons," she added, checking the time.

"If that's alright with you."

"You want me to come?" James' voice was almost a bit squeaky as he kind of shouted out his question.

I uh-..." Sue stuttered, searching for the right words, "I thought we-... Like-... I thought, you know... The entire day, not just lunch..."
"O-... Of course!" the blond immediately agreed.
He smiled at her mildly, and Sue quietly smiled back. She didn't quite know what to do with these new feelings. It wasn't love, of course not. Love doesn't just pop up, love and affection both grow over time, do they not? But something made her want him to stay, and not just as a stopgap but as the person she had just had lunch with, so who knew. The truth was, Sue had sworn off romance a long time ago. She had decided to not engage in any more serious relationships; convinced to have proven to herself, and the men she had been with, that there were numerous activities to waste one's time that were far more amusing than monogamy. The tricky question was at what moment exactly she should share her generally rather unpopular opinion with James.

"So, are you still living with your parents?" Sue asked, stomping through the sand; holding both her shoes and socks in her right hand.
The water was almost icy, but in a weird way it felt good on her feet.
"No, I moved into a tiny flat across the street," James said and immediately added, "I know, it's across the street, literally. But it's still a bit more private, you know?"
Sue nodded.

"I've never made it out of my childhood bedroom, did I?" she mocked herself.
"That's different," James objected.
"Your father was sick... It's only normal that you stayed with him," he said and Sue smiled at him not less thankfully than weary.
She pulled a strand of hair behind her right ear, but it was almost instantly tussled around again, blown into her face by the raging winds.
"You know, it's a talent to see the world through pink glasses all the time," she remarked teasingly.

"Well, isn't the world bad enough as it is?" James countered.

"Can we not see it the way we wished it were, the place we would like to make it become, from time to time?" he said, and Sue seemed to be left completely speechless by his words.
She stared at the blond for a moment, then at the horizon.
"I've never seen it that way, to be honest," she admitted.

"After my mother left, my father would tell me all possible kind of fairy tales why she was gone, and why she didn't take me with her."

Sue didn't look James into his eyes as she spoke. She never really mentioned her mother, not to mention of opening up to someone like that.

"And I listened to all of his stories and little... Phantasies, only to grow up and realise that she simply didn't want me anymore. And who would want someone, not even a mother could love?"
She sniffled quietly, still refusing to look at James, feeling childishly stupid for tearing up over her own words. Sue didn't remember ever actually saying these things out loud. And now that she had, she wished she didn't, and let the past rest in the dark, dusty corner it had been dwelling in all these years now.
"I-..." James searched for the right words.