The Heir And The Spare

#24

TWENTY-FOUR

'If two people are meant to be together, eventually they will find their way back.' - Chuck Bass 

I'm sick four times before I start to feel remotely human again.

My stomach churns and tugs at muscles I didn't know I had, and it fills my mouth with the taste of metal. I can barely swallow the glass of water I have helped myself to as I collapsed down next to the toilet, trembling.

None of it makes sense. None of it. Why, why, why?

I heave again and all that comes out of my stomach is bile.

Adam's outside the door, calling my name. I don't respond. I can barely open my mouth unless it's to puke, but I know he's coming in when I hear him kicking down the door and see out of the corner of my eye it is hanging off its hinges. The weight of Adam's heavy gaze rests on me.

"This is so messed up," I splutter through my tears. I feel stuck between wanting to forget what has happened and wanting to hold onto it. I must look like a state as I reach up to flush the toilet. "I feel like I cannot even breathe."

I cry harder, crumbling onto the floor beside the toilet. I rock myself back and forth, thoughts swirling in my head like a whirlpool. I am gasping for breath as my body rocks itself and then I feel arms around me and Adam pulls me against him, the feel of his suit jacket around my tear-stained cheeks as he sits behind me.

Adam doesn't speak but holds me tighter, stroking the hair from my face the way a father would to his child. He rubs my back and lets me cry harder into his chest, his shirt undoubtedly sodden through from my tears.

I cry until there are no more tears left and even when I pull away from the man who has protected me for my entire life, I can't stop the wave of pain that chokes at my heart.

"I feel like I'm watching a movie play out right in front of me, none of this feels real."

"You're bound to feel that way, Eva. Everything you thought you knew has blown up in front of you and you're in a position nobody else can understand. You have experienced so much pain for someone so young." Adam offers me a small smile. "You're stronger than you think, darling. You will do more than push through this, you'll survive it."

"I didn't even recognise him," I whisper, looking up from my knees to meet Adam's gaze. "Luke. It took me a second too long."

"He's changed," Adam says, "not just physically but mentally. I know his death hurt you but staying away, watching his girlfriend and his brother live out their lives whilst he pretends not to exist will change even the strongest of people. I know you're angry at him for keeping this from you, but I don't think anything is as simple as it seems."

Adam's words rattle to my core and I fidget with my hands because I know he's right.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I repeat again. "I'm basically a sitting duck."

"I will never let anyone hurt you," Adam's voice is like gravel. "Ever."

And although Adam might be able to protect me physically, there is nothing my head of security can protect me from when it comes to my heart.

"What Luke said about James..." I trail off and pull a face. "I can't marry him," I state and for the first time since leaving the conversation earlier I feel assertive in my decision. "He hates me."

Adam breathes out a deep sigh. "No, Eva, he doesn't. You make him feel things he's claimed don't exist. You always have."

I don't know how to respond to that – I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that.

"I need to speak to you,"

I snap my head to the broken doorway where James stands, his tousled blonde hair sticking up at all angles. He's changed from earlier into a black fitted t-shirt and he's wearing grey joggers. He looks commanding and dangerous, tired and scared all at once.

"Leave." He commands Adam. My head of security stands and leaves as I brush away the tears from my face and take a deep breath before standing up myself.

"There's no need to be rude."

"I think I'm over being kind," James' laugh is bitter and I shove past him and into the room I have been put in. I locate the jumper on a back of a chair and start to tug it over my head.

"Go to hell, James."

"And leave you here all alone?" he fires back, "pretty impossible considering they want to make you my wife."

I pause momentarily and then push my head through the hole of the jumper to meet his undeniable stare. "I will not marry you, James Prescott."

"It looks like you have little choice, Princess," his mouth quirks. "Considering we're being hunted and all."

"What you brother said—"

"About being in love with you?" James barks out a laugh and I stumble back into the chair at the callousness of it. "Luke is many things, but his imagination has always been wild. You know that."

I shake my head in disgust and move to walk past him, but James grabs my hand and whirls me around. In three steps he backs me against the wall, his chest so close to mine that we are practically touching. Almost, but not quite. I can feel the heat from his chest and I can smell his minty breath. I am convinced it's his heart I can hear pounding in my ears.

"Don't walk away from me,"

I meet James' eyes with as much rigour as I can muster. "I should have walked away from you the second you came back into my life,"

James' eyes dance and I don't know if it's the position we are in or the fact he gets off on this back and forth between us, but he seems to be enjoying himself. It makes my heart squeal and my head ache because whenever I'm around him it's as if the world is burning and he is the only person who can keep the flames from touching us.

"What is this between us?" I whisper and for a second, I see James falter.

"Nothing," he says quickly but I notice the way his voice sounds as he mutters it. "There is nothing between us."

"Then why are you here?" I ask him, my eyes dropping to the small gap between us.

"To give you this," James reaches one hand from above my head and digs into his pocket. His gaze doesn't once leave mine as he lifts it out and holds it up in front of my eyes. It's a ring. A wedding ring.

"You know in chess it's the queen's job to protect the king," James begins turning the ring in his palm. "Think of this as your way of protecting me."

"Go fuck yourself,"

"Thattoo, Princess can be arranged."