You Found Me

                  

Hey guys so this is a oneshot dedicated to camilapaz11 thank you for the idea and I hope you like your story! <3

Camila

I was just at Starbucks, nothing crazy right, getting my usual vanilla soy latte and thinking about how when I get home I have to plaster this stupid fake smile on my face and pretend I'm the perfect daughter my mom wants me to be. I was waiting for my name to get called, the voices in my head were so loud I was scared I wouldn't hear them call it.

I finally get my coffee and am about to walk out when I decided and stay and drink it, why not, it kills more time before I have to go home. My mom would usually call to ask where I am but I had been getting coffee after school almost every day, or at least that's what I tell her, so she doesn't check up on me until after 4.

I throw my drink out, but wasn't ready to go home yet, I just want to stay a little longer. Avoid homework and mom and dinner. I should know better than to drink Starbucks coffee but it's my one and only vice, like demi and her redbull I laugh to myself. I just want to feel loved and appreciated, I want my parents to notice how I really am and stop believing the lie I keep telling them.

Can't they see how much I'm hurting? The girls at school won't leave me alone they don't always seek me out but sometimes just being seen as the outcast hurts so much. I keep hearing how pathetic I am, how useless and I'm so tired of pretending. Pretending that I'm happy, pretending that I don't constantly wish I was dead.

I slowly stand from my table and head to the bathroom, I can't keep this coffee down, and it's going to ruin everything. Maybe if I can get skinny enough the girls will like me, they won't hate me anymore. I lock the bathroom door and wait till I can be sure no one is coming in. I slowly lean over the toilet bowl and stick a finger down my throat, the first time is always the worst, and I choke and gag and cough.

I stick my finger back again, this time pushing it down further and holding it there, finally the coffee came back up. I made sure to keep going until all I saw was bile and maybe a little bit of blood before I pulled myself up and sat on the toilet seat lid.

I couldn't stop the tears pouring down my face as I pulled out a blade from my bag. I knew I shouldn't do it, I knew I should wait till I got home but I didn't want to and I wasn't sure I could make it home without it. I unbuttoned my shorts and flipped them over, placing the blade against my hip. I quickly wiped my tears away as I took a deep breath, making the first cut.

I heard the bathroom door open and my breath caught in my throat, oh god please be quick, I stayed silent as they went into a stall and then went to the taps. I glanced down at my hip to check the bleeding and noticed the blood about to reach my clothes. I panicked and gasped grabbing toilet paper and pressing it against my hip so the blood wouldn't get on my shorts. In my rush to clean up I didn't notice the tap turn off but I heard the echo of the blade hitting the floor and bouncing twice before stopping.

Oh my god. Please tell me the girl has already gone and didn't hear that. God I'm so stupid! I heard the click of heels and knew she heard me, fuck please leave, please just go! She went to the door and I could see her shoes stop in front of it. Yes now just open the door and leave. Instead she turned on her heel and came back "Honey...I think we both know what I heard drop on the floor...do you want to come out and talk about it?" I shook my head before realising I was still behind a door and she couldn't see me "I-I I'm fine in here thanks..." God I sounded pathetic I stuttered and my voice cracked making it completely obvious I was crying.

Ugh idiot! I heard her laugh "Even if you hadn't been crying I'm not leaving until I make sure you're okay" I sighed and shuffled my jeans up, leaving some toilet paper on the cuts to stop them from bleeding, and opened the door. I had my bag in my hand about to swing on my shoulder but as I pulled the door open I dropped the bag.