Dear You,
I'm not gonna name names, but you'll know this is for you. I was in love with you, I am in love with you, I've been in love with you since the day I met you. Since the day I walked into that Great Clips and I whispered to my best friend to look at you. To now, wanting to cry at the sight of you. Sometimes I wish I never met you. I wish I never would have went to her bonfire and sat down next to you. That was the night we actually became friends, you know? I guess I don't regret it. In a way, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I was in a bad state of mind when I first met you. I was going to therapy and smoking weed to try and keep myself happy. Then we started hanging out and talking more and things changed. All I was focused on was you. You were the only thing on my mind, all day, everyday. I got the biggest smile when I saw you, and butterflies in my stomach when you said my name. I loved you. I realized it the night of my birthday, our first kiss, and my first time. I'm glad it was with you, but when we were laying there and I was staring into your blue eyes, all I could think about was how much I loved the boy sitting in front of me. I wish I would have actually told you that, maybe things would be different. I don't know if you meant it, a week later when you told me you loved me. You said you'd do anything for me. You don't know it but when I said it back, I truly meant it. I love you more than anything, even if you didn't want me, even if you had a girlfriend, or told your friends we were nothing. Even when you said you'd run away and forget my name if I was pregnant. I still loved you through all of that. I always will and I guess that's why I'm writing this. Even though I still love you, that doesn't mean I'm going to stick around and get used. I really wish it could have been different, but then again these things never work out. Thank you for letting me feel special for a little, even if you did go see your girlfriend right after you left my house. Thank you for showing me that no matter how much you love someone, you gotta respect yourself and you can not keep putting them first. So this is me respecting myself. I'm letting go. Thank you for all the memories that I'll cherish forever and for being the first love that I'll never forget.
I love you, Josh.
