Shia LaBeouf buys a Cat

Shia LeBeouf buys a Cat

Shia LeBeouf walked slowly back to his house, looking dejected. It was his birthday.

When he woke up earlier that day he had been in a good mood, he joyfully chose his outfit; a purple, collarless shirt and yellow, pinstripe pants. He walked next door to his girlfriend's house. They had been dating for about a week, her name was Olga, Olga McGobllin. She had hair the colour of a rotting apple (brown) and eyes the colour of mould (green). Shia knocked three times on her door and waited.

After waiting for an hour he knocked another three times, he did not want to be rude and knock too much as he and Olga's relationship was still delicate. Eventually, after two more hours, he knocked on her door four times and texted her. He said 'Hello, I have knocked on your door ten times in three hours and, because you have answered zero times, I have come to the conclusion that you are not home.', Olga briefly replied 'Oh yeah, forgot to tell you that I am now dating Leonardo Di'Caprio. Bye'.

Shia LeBeouf did not reply. Shia Leboeuf did not cry. Instead, he did the obvious thing; went to the local theatre to audition for the approaching musical, Cats.

He thought his audition was brilliant, he sang, he danced, and he ended the performance with an attempt cartwheel and a flamboyant bow. Unfortunately, the producers did not think he was brilliant. They sent him home with no role.

So, Shia LeBeouf walked home slowly, looking dejected.

 As he was walking he realized that he had no kale so he went to the nearest shopping centre to buy some. Whilst he was walking to the fruit shop, he noticed something that he realized would immediately solve his problems; the pet shop was selling hairless cats.

As he entered the pet shop all the cats stared at him, it made him feel uncomfortable. He decided to get out of there as quickly as possible so he asked the lady at the counter to get him one of the cats, he didn't care which one.

So, Shia LeBeouf walked home quickly, looking joyful. Then he realized that he still had no kale. He was too far away from the fruit shop to go back so he walked home looking slightly less joyful.

It was while he was in his house that he realized the real problem; Shia did not know what to name his cat.

After hours of careful consideration, Shia LeBeouf decided to name the hairless creature Vincent.

Vincent was a very interesting cat, he had been the youngest of his brethren and he knew every word in the Oxford Dictionary. When he met Shia he had noted how limitlessly downhearted and desolate he had appeared. After Shia had named him, Vincent was pleased and decided he would return the favour.

So, Vincent waited until the next day, while Shia was eating his breakfast (microwavable spaghetti) to start solving his problems. The cat said to his owner "Good morn, however gratified I am to see you on this fine day I must state that spaghetti, especially the microwavable kind, is not suitable for a human breakfast".

So Shia and Vincent sat down and had a long conversation, they discussed politics, issues like Donald Trump, and, most importantly, Shia's problems. When they were done speaking they were both happy, Vincent convinced Shia that he was too good for Olga, and Shia told Vincent that Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats.

At the end of the day Vincent and Shia were best friends, they sat together eating well cooked salmon and laughing.