Collection of Football One-Shots

César Azpilicueta - Would Haves, Could Haves, Should Haves

Prompt: "It killed me to see you with him."

note: it's a sad little drabble...

He didn't mean to do it. Not again, but there she was, just meters from him, glowing.

The few times he saw her strolling in the park he was content with just watching her from afar, but then one day he saw her with someone else, completely happy, a smile up to her ears, and the air carried out their joyous laughter; it sent a suckerpunch to his gut.

He retreated immediately, too hurt to keep on watching.

He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her smile like that; he couldn't recall what he last did or said to make her laugh; to give her joy.

He stayed away from the park for a couple of weeks but he kept finding reasons to past near it. He saw her again, a couple of months after and rather than turning away, hurt, he watched. He drunk in the sight of her and him.

Addicted, he kept returning to the park, to watch them fascinated. He got closer and closer until one day she spotted him.

"César?" her voice called out to him.

"Louisa, I...I" he stammered unsure what to say. He was so preoccupied watching who she was with he didn't notice that her eyes had landed towards his direction.

"Hi." she said, giving him a warm smile. She noticed his eyes were glued not on her but on the person she was with. "Would you like to join us?"

"I...I don't - " he watched the little man smile up at the stranger and gargle happily, showing the toy truck he held.

"His name is Paolo." Louisa supplied.

"Paolo." César said, testing the name on his lips. "Is he your....child?" he asked

"Yeah. He's 20 months." Lousia said.

César dropped to his knees to watch the boy play with his toy in his stroller.

"Hi I'm César." he said, wiggling his index finger on Paolo's palm so the little boy could grip it in his small fist. The little boy watched him curiously, his eyes big and round.

"I thought I saw wrong; my mind playing tricks with me, but now I see I was right in the first place." She said, bringing his attention back at her. "Why are you following me?"

"I'm not...I don't mean to follow you. I mean you no harm!" he quickly said. "I just..."

She waited patiently for him to explain.

"It killed me to see you with him," he said, a sad smile on his face, his eyes still trained on Paolo rather than on Louisa. "But I couldn't stop watching. I wanted to see...to see what I could have had and I let slip. It killed me but I wanted to know more."

They remained in awkward silence.

"We should have had a happy relationship if I listened to you more; if I wasn't so stubborn, if I wasn't so selfish. We could have a family now. I know you wanted kids, wanted marriage. The whole nine yards. We could be sitting here as parents to Paolo. We should be happy." he said longingly.

"I am." she said. "I am happy. And you could be too; would be if you let go of your guilt towards me."

The two former lovers just stared at each other.

"I'm sorry." César said. "For not being the man you needed."

Louisa nodded and gave a smile.

[end]