From a very young age I knew my mother couldn't love my father. Not really anyways, she loved him in some form but not in the way you want to be loved by anyone. It's a pitiful kind of love where it's forced, the only time they say "I love you" is in their sleep and usually followed by a foreign name. It's the sad kinda love where you couldn't really care if he came home at night, or when there was lipstick on his collar that definitely didn't belong to you when he did. The pathetic kinda love when sex became clinical, they stopped caring at one point and just started spewing whatever name fancied them. With my dad it was frequently changing, Monica, Denise, Sasha, Hannah, Stephanie, Brittany, you name it he's probably said it. With my mom it was one constant person throughout every Saturday night for the past 6 years that I can remember, Riley.
And this was the only guideline on "love" I ever had growing up that wasn't on a movie screen. Eventually my dad left us for one of those girls he worked with at his office. No one was really surprised. Mom didn't even care. I think it's partially because she was cheating on him with whoever this Riley character was, deep down I think the only reason they were together is because my dad knocked up my mom and they tried to make it work. I guess they just couldn't.
A few years after dad left my grandma had to move in to help me take mom, I guess she had a relapse in her OCD. She had also basically gone mute, too embarrassed of the stutter she had developed again to speak to anyone. Now she just kinda sits in her perfectly clean room and looks out at the window and the tattoo on her forearm. Dad came back for a little bit to tell us that he'd help with the therapy bills, the speech therapy and the regular therapy for her depression and OCD.
And then he ran off again with Hillary (his wife's name) and Karen (his new daughter and my younger sister) to England to escape actually dealing with mom. So once again he just left us for a newer better life, I don't blame him, seemed like Hillary really loved him. Too bad my mom kinda wrecked him up, a few years he left Hillary and Karen just like he left me and my mom, guess he was doomed to repeat history forever. One day Hillary just drove off to get milk and never came back, and me being a softie for abandoned children (and the closest relative in town) picked 10 year old Karen up from the school and she's been living here since then. No one's heard of Hillary or Josh since then, which I guess is for the best all considering.
So that's been my life for the past few years, with some small bits and pieces edited out that weren't all that big of a deal to mention. A few years had passed, Karen's 12, I'm 16, mom's just a hair better, and grandma is still kicking ass and taking names.{A/N: I'll try harder to regularly update this, also in this story Rowan looks like Sabrina Carpenter with Vitiligo and Sabrina Matthews looks like Rowan Blanchard, I know it's confusing but it's because in the other story Rowan was Maya and Josh' daughter. Also First POV may be just this chapter, maybe not I dunno.}
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And I knew she didn't love him.
FanfictionSpiritual successor to "In her eyes I saw the Universe."