music was the only way i could remain calm, whenever the familiar cloudy sensation filled my brain, my earphones where in and i was listening to music. curled up on my bed in the dark, eyes closed, music was my only escape. no matter how much shit i was dealing with.
ok so, my name is alex, im 17 and just like basically every other socially awkward teenage girl i am addicted to music, coffee, reading, dyeing my hair and boys. my favrouite bands include, all time low, the maine, you me at six and bastille, my favourite books include, the hunger games trilogy, the divergent trilogy, and anything by john green. basically i am an average girl, there is nothing special about me, im just plain old boring alex.
its the first day of the last year of highschool for me, year 12. im already stressing out about the hsc's, worried that my marks throughout the year wont be good enough, that i wont make it to university, wont get the degree i need, then wont get a job. these thoughts filled my head constantly no matter what i did, it wad best just to push them aside. i straightened my tie, and wiped my already sweaty palms on my skirt before walking into school.
"hi alex" my bestfriend ,tom, waved at me. tom and i have been friends for aslong as i can remember, he knew all of my secrets and i knew all of his. i told him about boy problems, family issues, basically anything that was going on in my life, and that included my self harm he was really the only person that knew about it, its not something i like to boast around. i told him when we where 13, and he has helped me quit. i am now 2 years clean.
i run my thumb over the now healed scars, and wipe my palms on my skirt again.
"hi tom" i throw my arm around his neck as we talk together to the locker room
"any cute guys this year" i say.
i should probably also mention that tom, is gay.
"well there is this one guy" he giggles "his name is luke"
"luke" i say, nudging toms arm "so what do you know about luke"
"well" tom continues, "he is 17, he plays guitar and sings, and he is best mates with calum and michael"
calum and michael where two guys in our grade. i barley talked to them much, however calum was in my chemistry class, he saw my scars once, but im pretty sure i convinced him they where from playing with my dog.
"anyway beautiful, heres your locker, mines over there" tom says before kissing my cheek "and it looks like the cuties locker is next to yours" he whispers in my ear before running away.
i look to my right and i see probably the hottest guy ive ever seen. i swear under my breath. talking to new people really wasnt my strong point, social anxiety i guess. basically i freak out, ive been able to control it mostly, but when i look a him i can feel myself panicking, fuck, i wish i had my ipod.
suddenly i heard lukes voice.
"m sorry, what did you say" i nervously ask
"i wanted to see if you're ok, you seem a little nervous" his deep voice calms me down.
"uh, yeah im ok, just a little worried about the year, being the last year and all" i tried to sound as normal as possible
"shit, uh, sorry, hi, um, my names alex"
"hi alex, my name is luke"
"i know" fuck, did i really just say that shit. his puzzled look freaks me out again, i feel my palms get sweaty and my brain get cloudy. "um calum and michael told me about you" nice save alex.
"i see you've met alex luke" a voice, calums, calls from behind.
"calums told me alot about you too" luke smiles. his dimple on full show.
i reach into my locker and grab my books for first and second period. great, double chemistry. tom taps my shoulder,
"ready to go alex" he wraps his hand around my waist as we walk off. dont get me wrong, tom is attractive, but like i mean the whole sexuality thing. i nudge him in the side.
"what the heck do you think you're doing" i hiss at him
"trying to make cutie over there jealous, just trust me on this" he smiles back
"hey guys, wait up" lukes voice calls. i turn around and see him and calum running towards us.
"you can thank me later" tom whispers in my ear
"uh, sorry we have to go to class" tom basically scolds them, i nudge him "be nice" i whisper
"yeah i know" calum smiles
"we're in your chemistry class" luke says, clearly annoyed
