Namjin

NAMJOON PART 8

"What was that about?" Jhope nudged Namjoon in the waist a bit. Namjoon looked at him, confused.

"What about? The towel thing? I already told you-"

"No not that. I’m talking about that fucking intense look yall were giving each other." Namjoon blushed involuntary. feeling uncomfortable for no reason at all.

"Um I dunno, I have a beautiful face?" he says shrugging. He really didn’t know why.

"Hmmm," Jhope says obviously unconvinced.

"I'll call Yoongi and see how they're holding up. I'm fucking hungry," he says, and gives Namjoon a pat on the back while he skips out of the room.

"Guys dinner is ready!" Jin’s voice calls through the whole house making every wall quiver.

Jin rarely gets to cook because of their busy schedules but since they have the rest of this week off, he's been on a cooking spree.

Which is good for everyone since they all idolise his cooking, even if some of his creations taste like shit, someone will still eat it. Though right now the smell coming from the kitchen was nothing short of intoxicating.

Namjoon who was getting lost in his thoughts and the smell was suddenly risen back to the physical world by a pair of strong bony hands.

"We called you like five minutes ago. Are you eating?" Jin looked down at the younger who was still rather dazed.

Jin’s hands were still on his shoulders and he could feel the warmth and comfort of it surge through his body. Namjoon began blushing- hard. He glanced slightly at Jin’s hands, which Jin retracted quickly, but not nearly as quickly as Namjoon’s heart was beating.

"Yeah I'm- I was- I'll come now." Namjoon stutters.

"Ok then quickly its getting cold," Jin turns to leave and Namjoon follows suit almost tripping over his own feet.

During dinner all he could think of was how Jin’s hands felt on his shoulder. How they consumed him, enveloped him into a blissful state of comfort. He loved it.

He shook his head quickly, as if shaking his thoughts. He doesn't want to think about this. He shouldn't think about this. Jin is a guy, he isn’t what he should be attracted to. Then why is he thinking about this? He could feel the heat return to his face again. He felt feverish and confused.

The more he tried to suppress his thoughts of Jin, the more they showed up in his brain, taunting and mixing up his feelings in a way he couldn't explain. In a way he didn't want to come to terms with. He squirmed in his seat.

"You alright Monnie?" Suga takes in Namjoon’s awkward composure and the fact that he’s been holding the same spoonful of rice for the better part of five minutes.

"Are you sick?" Jimin enquires. He looks concerned.

Namjoon feels like saying no but suddenly he feels overwhelmingly nauseous.

"Yeah." he mutters quickly and he abruptly stands up without glancing at any of the others before rushing to his dorm room.

Namjoon spends most of the evening staring up at the ceiling from under his covers thinking about only one thing in particular. Jin.

He thinks about him alot, every aspect of him. Yet he mentally scolds himself each time.

He remembers a few years back when he used to hang around Hoseok alot, he always loved his presence. He still does.

Suddenly his old appreciation for Hoseok made sense. And it didn't make sense at all.

He had liked him, maybe a bit too much for comfort. As soon as that epiphany clouded his mind, he tried to wave it away. He didn't want to believe it.

But the thought lingered in the back of his frantic mind, threatening to expose him to himself.

He was scared. He was hysterical. He almost laughed because he didn't know what to feel. Then he did laugh, because he didn't know what else to do with himself.

He shook his head. Its not true, I'm not gay. I can't be. He says in his head until he's convinced its true.

But his mind doesn't rest.

Later on Jungkook and Jimin come to check on him but he waves them off. Its only when Hobi goes to their joint dorm to go to sleep does he finally decide to fall asleep.