Dear Riley,
I don't know how to start this... you would think it's as easy as writing in a few words and done but it really isn't. If my writing is all over the place and you can't read it, I can gauruntee it's because my hand is shaking from how nervous I am.
I honestly have no idea how to start this. I'm sorry? Should I be honest with you? I don't even know if I am sorry for what I did. There's something inside of me that is immensely guilty but a minor feeling inside of me that isn't; something inside of me is kind of glad I did what I did.
I have acknowledged that this was your special day, your's and his day. You two were both destined to be together from day one but as per usual, me and my jealous self had to get involved and ruin everything. Yeah, you heard me right, I said jealous. Everyone knew I've been jealous of your and his relationship since day one. Whenever I saw you two together I use to burn. Every bit of me wanted to punch him. Like when you first introduced him to myself, I knew it wasn't right to show how angry I was however it hurt to see you both together. I could've sworn I was always on the verge of breaking down.
The fact that he even proposed: it's painful.
I loved you since I first set eyes on you. I know that sounds cheesy and I still remember how much you hated when people said cliche things to you. Riley, I remember everything. I hate how I had known your for nineteen years but never had the guts to ask you out whereas he had only know you for one year and he had already asked you out. My blood use to boil whenever he: held your hand, kissed you, hugged you.
I was so envious of him. It's funny because two days after he had asked you out I had a rose in my hand, that rose especially for you, and courage, I had actually gotten the nerves to ask you to go out with me. I had arms ready to be wrapped around you if you ever needed them. Fantasies. Dreams -dreams of you and I. How our first date was to go. How our first kiss was to be like. How our wedding was going to be...
Instead of the wedding card reading Alfie and Riley it could've said James and Riley. Every day I regret not asking you out first. Everyday I would cry my self to sleep. I think it was love? I think I loved you Riley...
Then, when I saw you walk down the wedding isle in your stunning white lace dress, professionally done hair and makeup and your arms locked with your dad's arms as you grinned from ear to ear, I don't know, I guess I was upset. Really, really upset. I couldn't stand the thought of you saying 'I do' to him. The idea was terrifying. I had thought about it, sat in the seat I was assigned to as my palms sweated.
When the priest stated 'let them speak now or forever hold their peace' I instantly had to put my hand up. Without thinking I did so. I remember getting dirty looks from everyone around us and ice-cold glares from Emily and Alfie however I remember the look you gave me. You weren't disgusted or angry. You looked into me with those beautiful chestnut brown eyes of yours (I'll always remember the look you gave me).I know what I did was wrong. I know I lied about most things and I know I'm the reason the wedding was delayed but that was one hundred times more satisfying than watching you two getting married.
I know I've gotten carried away with this letter but the point I'm trying to make is I love you to death Riley and will do anything to prove it and that I'm truly sorry.
Very, very sorry but then again I'm not. I know you hate me for practically ruining your wedding but please Riley, for the love of god, write back to me.
Please.
Yours sincerely,
James
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I was thinking of doing a part 2 for Riley but that would probably be as bad as this.
I dunno, should I?
