too weird to live, too rare to die

iv. girl that you love

you're really starting to fall for this girl.

you're really starting to fall for her, and it's a problem,

because you can tell that she doesn't feel the same way,

when she yanks on her jeans and hastily fixes her hair and you're still lying in bed, wanting her to come back

because you like it when she lies against you and hums softly against your chest,

because you fall asleep to the sound of her singing new wave songs under her breath,

because you catch her staring up at the stars once and she talks about how the stars are ten times prettier than any of the city lights,

and you'd dispute her on that except she just looks so beautiful against the night sky, her face illuminated by the pale moonlight and her hair falling in her eyes,

and you want to hold her and kiss her and talk to her and sing to her and surrender all control--

but she's gone every morning

without so much as a kiss goodbye or a note left on the pillow,

and so you do what any insane man with a crush would do--

you get behind the wheel,

and you follow her home,

and you knock on her apartment door and she opens it with a sharp intake of air and a shocked glare,

because you followed her home followed her home followed her home followed her home

and she thought your relationship was purely physical but clearly there's more here,

and she wasn't expecting this, she wasn't expecting any of this,

but before she can shut the door your lips are on hers,

and she's leaning into it and you've got her pressed up against the doorframe,

moaning your name,

and you know that this will end with you in her bed and her pushing you away,

but what else can you do but drown every sense you own

for the girl that you love?

the girl you loathe.