I walk on this earth everyday with no view of the future. Why should I? I have nothing to work for, nothing to call my own. I do have someone to love who loves me. That is defintely better than nothing. Earth. The planet that we humans call "home". It will not last forever. Ages of changes and destruction from the dawn of life to todays' conflicts have left the earth eteranlly scared. Humans have caused much harm to Earth yet will not accept the blame for thier actions. Whether it be intentional or not, from land clearing to the effects of war. War. I still ask myself why. Why war? War has been engrained in human blood and instinct since the first man rose up against another. The reason why its fought, the location, the people who fight it have changed over time. the effect of wars however have not changed at all. Bloodshed, death, destruction, and misery. I am not an advocate for war. Never will be.
I have battled depression, and suicidal thoughts for several years now. It doesnt get easier until its finally over. I have saved others and others have saved me. I look a knife diferently then any normal person. They see it as a tool to help them with thier daily lives while I see a way to calm myself. Its a viscious cycle that I may never stop fighting. I remain on this earth for one person. Her smile is a powerful force. Her voice soothes and her affection calms. It is love that has truely saved me. I will never be able to fully repay her for all that she has done. Life is more than what it seems so find what you want and go get it.
