Avi Kaplan Prefences (For Aliza)

Second Chances

* Second Chance

It’s New Year’s Eve. You are spending the evening partying with Pentatonix at a high-end club. A year ago, you would be estatic and having the time of your life; however, tonight you feel nothing but sadness. For every minute closer to midnight is also a minute closer to having to say goodbye to the band.

You’re sitting at the bar, absentmindedly stirring your drink. You look across the crowded room to see Avi engaged in conversation. You smile. You have been dating Avi since July. You’re happy with him, happier than you had been with any other man. The only problem is that Pentatonix was still on tour. Your entire relationship consisted of long-distance Skype calls and texts, in addition to brief phone calls during any spare moments you both had. You feel the smile fall from your face. You love him, you know you do, but you don’t know how much longer you can live like this. Constantly waiting for the rare weekend where Avi can come home is torture on both your mind and your heart.

You glance up at the clock. 11:45. You look back at Avi and notice that he’s looking at you, too. He seems concerned. As he makes his way to you, you realize how upset you must have looked. He always comments on what an open book you are; you often display your thoughts on your face.

Avi is now by your side. “What’s wrong?” he asks, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

You shrug his hand away and face the other way. You don’t want to tell him what’s wrong. If you do, he’ll feel forced to do something.

“It’s nothing,” you mumble.

“No, it’s not.” He turns you to face him and lifts your chin gently. His thumb caresses your cheek. “Have you been crying?”

Your hand flies to your face. You are surprised to feel that it’s damp. Where did those tears come from?

“I… I just don’t want you to leave, Avi. I miss you. When was the last time we spent more than two days together?” Avi’s hand leaves your face to run a hand through his hair. He doesn’t know. “Exactly,” you continue. “I mean, I just don’t know what to do anymore. Are we….” you can’t finish.

“Are we what?” You feel fresh tears welling up. Avi leans in closer, your foreheads now touching. You squeeze your eyes shut. He asks again, his voice softer and full of concern, “Baby, are we what?”

“Is this how it’s going to be for the rest of our lives, Avi? You going on tour while I wait all year for you to come home? Because I can’t do it. I want to have a real family, and live in a real house, and see my real husband every day. And as long as you’re so successful, I’m just holding you back.” With that, you practically fly from your seat and rush to get away from him. Hot tears sting your eyes as you push your way past the crowd. You can’t believe that you had just said all of that, but it was true. If Avi couldn’t give you what you wanted, what was the point of pretending things could work out?

You make it to the back door when a large hand grabs your wrist. You don’t turn around.

“Avi, please-“

“Don’t.” His voice cracks with that single syllable. You glance over your shoulder. Avi’s face is also streaked with tears. He looks broken. Defeated.

“Avi-“

“You’re right,” he nearly shouts over you. “You’re right. This relationship, it isn’t fair to you.” He pulls you to him, placing his hands on your shoulders. “But this hasn’t been easy for me, either. Yeah, I enjoy touring, but I miss you every second I’m on that stage. Call me selfish, but I can’t imagine living without you.” He looks you in the eye. “I love you.”

You’re speechless. Neither of you had said that before. He means it. You know he does. His eyes are full of passion as they bore into yours.

“I… I love you, too, Avi. Really.” He smiles and pulls you to his chest.

“And you know, you don’t have to stay here this time.”

“What do you mean?”

He takes your hands in his. You find yourself being pressed against the door. “I mean that I want you to come on tour with me. Please. We don’t have to be separated again.”

You open your mouth to respond, but are cut off by the sudden cheers of the people around you. Midnight. It was a new year. And with that new year was coming new opportunities. A fresh start for the two of you.

Instead of speaking, you place your hands on either side of his face and seize his lips in a passionate kiss. He responds immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. The door’s metal frame is cold on your back, but you don’t care. You are finally feeling like you have a second chance at a real future. A future with the love of your life.