INSANE

As the street lights flickered, I stared out the window trying to forget the tension in the car after our screaming match about if a platypus lays eggs and if it could really be considered an mammal. Our arguments were rarely about something important. A simple conversation about the environment would turn into a screaming match. We never said sorry and would forget about the whole thing until our next fiasco when we'd bring it up again.

The neon lights flashed in all pretty colors. Every sign said almost the same thing as the one you saw before on the store next to it. There were tiny shops and restaurants up and down Jeriso Street. It'd gotten it's name from the man that constructed the layout of the small town. I don't think they ever imagined it'd be the most dangerous street in Everstein.

We pulled over outside of a liquor store right on the corner. There was a big steel pole that read 'Bobby's Liquor' with each letter slowly glowing up at a time. The 's in Bobby's had gone out now reading 'Bobby Liquor'. The owner now looked like an illiterate moron, which after meeting the man, Bobby Hart, it wouldn't of shocked you.

Jairo was staring out of his window for a little while looking in the opposite direction I was. We both held our pride closer to our hearts than we did each other, it was our biggest mistake. After a couple of minutes he turned and looked at me with a stupid smirk plastered across his face. It was repulsive to look at in the moment. I hated looking at his smug face after we'd just finished acting like children.

I looked him in the eye studying his dark brown eyes with specks of gold illuminating his eyes. His smirk growing stronger and more arrogant by the second. My eyes squinted hard from the nauseous feeling in the core. "I hate you." I mumbled quickly looking away out my window not wanting to let his charm cloud my judgment. I knew I should've cut all ties with him long ago, but something inside of me wouldn't let go.

"I love you too babe." I quickly looked over at him never once hearing those words escape his lips. My heart skipped a beat and a quick boost of oxygen filled my lungs. I could feel my heart attempting to escape the security of my rib cage wishing to escape my body. I caught on fast turning away not wanting him to see what those few words had done to me. I wasn't ready to give up the remaining power I still had left. It was either that or I wasn't ready to come to terms that I had none left.

"Oh," I started in a snarky tone. "I thought you hated those words."

He said millions and millions of times before that he'd never say "I love you" to anyone. He felt those words were overused and now held no meaning or importance whatsoever.

Just because of his irrational belief doesn't mean I didn't somewhat express myself to him. I showed my love in words; he showed his heart through acts.

"I do. I always will, but I haven't found the right way to tell you I guess, so my morals will have to step aside for now." He opened the sunroof and pushed back his chair, so now he was laying down flat. His hands supported his head as he attempted to get as comfortable as he could.

"Well tell me when you find the proper words." I stared out the window still studying the lights hoping to block out of all my thoughts. I felt so rude and insensitive after acting stuck up to him as he tried his best to be sweet. Being sweet wasn't his style.

With his messy brown hair, dark solid t-shirts, hoodies, and combat boots, he always came across rather intimidating and cruel. His Olive skin glowed as the stars shined through the sun roof. He seemed to envy the stars for being free and able to move on from Everstein, a place he felt he was connected to by chains on his wrist. He was almost addicted to the struggle this place fed him. I felt about him the way he felt about this crummy town. There was both love and hatred boiling inside of us.

Without looking at me at all, instead imagining himself up with the stars, he'd told me a recurring wish he'd had in a soft and gentle voice I'd never heard him reach, "Boys like me always dream of being with girls like you, but girls like you never choose boys like me."

"Then I guess you got your dream." I put down my armor and battle gear knowing there was no use in fighting he rare sweet words if every so often be gifted with. I figured I'd cherish the moment and soak in it rather than pout.

"No I didn't. The more time I spent with you the more I realize that you're nothing like them. You're not one of the valley girls with billions who could help me escape this hell hole. In fact, you're not a girl at all, you're a women. What you've been able to give me is far better than what I could have ever dreamed up." Still he studied the stars with a strange look of gratitude and amazement. I'd never seen him this happy looking at the stars let alone about me.

"But I haven't given you anything." I was puzzled by his speech believing he must've lost his mind. He'd never received a dime of my money, I'd never even bought him a meal for the lack of trust between us. I assumed if I'd given him cash he'd buy cocaine with it.

Most women would've left him for that reason alone. All of my friends had claimed I'd lost my mind for claiming to be in love with Jairo, but none of them had ever felt the pull of magnetic energy refusing to let them forget about a person.

I fought hard to forget about the boy I'd saw in the streets so many times as my parents drove down the dangerous roads of Everstein. Every time I passed the nameless boy I felt something in my soul clinging to him. As my friends fell in love with old money millionaires, I fell asleep at night dreaming of someone I'd never met, but felt I knew. It was almost as I'd read his story a trillion times like it was an American classic I owed to my country to read.

Maybe all of my friends were right for calling me insane. But I'd stand tall with my chin held high for calling Jairo Rolf mine.

"Wrong. You've somehow helped me change. I'm no longer the boy stealing chips off of the convenient store shelfs. I'm now the man fighting the urge to steal the chips, but I'm winning." He finished with a cocky proud smile that shined brighter than the lights in Reno.

Now looking at me I felt a correlation between us and Reno, a neighboring town of Everstein. With the Strip clubs, casinos, and bars, it was all a beautiful mess with the neon lights forever having a hold on your energy. There's an automatic love with Reno, something I could only use to help explain how I felt about Jairo. I didn't want or need him, but I chose him. I chose every piece of him. We were a mess, and we were a mess up until the day we died, but we died together insane.

We were insane because we were in love. And being in love automatically makes you insane.