Thoughts

Escape

Why?, That's all I could think about at night when I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs in the middle of the night.
    Why has he been keeping me for so long?
    Why won't he just end my life already?
    He has been keeping me here since I was eight, and I am pretty sure i'm around fourteen now, but I can remember the day he took me like it was yesterday.

It was early fall, and the oak tree in the backyard just turned red.
   I asked my mom if I could go outside to role in the leaf pile we had made earlier that day, but she told me no.
    I should have listened to her that day, but I was too stubborn to do so.
   As soon as her back was turned, I ran out to the door,right when I opened it however..He.. grabbed me by the hem of my jacket, covered my mouth, then took me to his car as quick as he could.
   I can still hear my mother's voice screaming something at him, or me, but only if I think real hard.

Ever since that day, he has done nothing but hurt me. He always finds​ new and even more painful ways to hurt me when I don't scream to his liking.
  These kind of thoughts should never go threw a man's head; he should never want to hurt a girl,or take her away from her family, but then again he is no man.
    He is just a perverted little boy who needs some
professional help.
    All of a sudden, I hear my door open, and I start to panic as I see his muscular figure standing in the frame of the door.
    My thoughts are going all over the place on what I should do. Should I just give in to his seemingly endless torture?
   No, I can't do that, I would be losing my ability to feel anything, and that scared me the most.
I still want to know the feeling of love and warmth. I don't want that to just be a distant memory.
If I loose that would I even be considered a person? All I know is I am sick of this boy trying to shatter my hopes and dreams.
   I have been here long enough I am not a little girl anymore I can do this. I am leaving, tonight!
   He walked over to me with a smirk on his face not even bothering turning on the lights this time, then as he sits on my bed starts to play with my long brown hair. There is something different about him this time; he smells like...He's been drinking.
  As his hands are brushing threw my hair, I feel my whole body start to tense with this new information. Finally,his deep slurred words interrupt my thoughts.

" Do you know what time it is Lynn, my little princess?" his hands wander down to my shoulder then my waist and turned me on my back so that he could stare into my grey/blue eyes.
   " You have been an awful house guest for the past six years, I think it's time for you to pay me back, maybe show me what that body of  yours can d ---" before he said anymore I took a deep breath, and tried my best to stay calm, not wanting him to know I was horrified by what he is suggesting.
   " How many times must I tell you i'm not your anything, victim? prisoner? maybe, but nothing else you sick child."
   Filled with rage, his hands moved from my waist to my throat, then he lifted my small figure off the bed, and slammed me against the wall with the force of a freight train. Slowly he leaned towards my ear, and he whispered
    " You shouldn't have said that princess." I was barely able to breathe, but I managed to squeak out a few words " I hope you make it tickle you fucking sadist!"

I spit in his face, and with a surprisingly calm attitude, he removed one of his hands from my throat to wiped his face.
    When he was finished he let go of me, and my body hit the floor with a huge thud. He started to laugh, then walked out of the room.
   "I'll be back princess I just have to grab some of your favorite toys" I knew what he was doing, he was going  to do the deed.
  Gasping for air and filled with terror I realize that now is my only chance for escape, sweet freedom. Even though I was bit shaky and panicked I stand up then run down the hall.
   Hearing him dragging the iron fire poker up the stairs, I jump out the two story window down the hall. Pain begins to fill my right knee when I land, but I couldn't stop just because of a little booboo I was going to live.
    Trying to forget about the pain shooting up my leg like white lightning, I run as fast as I can into the woods praying to god he wouldn't be able to catch me.

I was able to reach the edge of the forest before I hear the door slam open. " Get back in here, and take your punishment you worthless piece of shit!" his voice boomed from behind me. I just keep going I refuse to be caught, because I know for certain I am going to be dead if I am caught. I don't look back, not even paying attention to where I am going, I just know I couldn't stop, I had to keep going no matter what. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I don't care, anywhere was better than there.

My lungs began to fill with liquid fire as I continue to run in the dark woods. I run until I can't even walk a straight line, and in the hopes that he would give up the chase soon I climb up a tall cedar tree. I was up in that tree for a good two hours listening to him yell for me.
" sorry asshole looks like I get to live a while longer, and I guess I win this battle; soon the war". I thought to myself.
   I fell asleep in that tree, and for once in what seems like forever it was a peaceful slumber even if I was super uncomfortable it is better than being in the same house as him. I had a dream as well, It was of my mother, but it wasn't a pleasant one, for some reason.. she was a monster just like.. him.

It was when I woke up that I saw my life returning to me, I saw the sun rising, I didn't realize it but I had tears streaming down my round freckled face. It wasn't because of the ordeal I had been going threw for so long, or because I knew he would still be look for me, but because i saw it as a new beginning. I see it as my freedom. It was my deepest wish I would get to see my mom again, and now I have a chance to see her once again.