My suicidal story☹️

My story

So I was in 5 grade and I didn't really fit in. I had "friends" but they were real friends😔. I was walking down the hall in school standing at my locker when a couple of boys came to me and started to call me names "slught" "whore" "fat" "ugly" and so on. I was use to that cause my real dad alway said that to me and so did my stepdad. I got sad and walked away like nothing happened. This started to happen on a daily basis and a couple of months went by and then it happened. I was sitting in class and I sat in front of the popular girls and they kept pulling my hair and telling me to kill my self so, I stood up and said "ok I will, if I'm not here tomorrow you know why" and they laughed and said "good no one cares anyways" and I walked out of the class to the barroom and started to cry and called my mom to get me. The teacher came to get me out of the bathroom and back to the classroom and I sat there while everyone looks at me then I here from a distance "I hope she dies she is a mistake anyways". As I here my name her called over the loud speaker I gather my stuff and said "I know no one will care so you don't have to point out the obvious." And walked out. I went home and went to my room and locked my door. I had a pencil sharpener I never used and took the screws out of it so I had a blade. I took the blade and make one cut, one turned into two and two turned into three. I made a fourth and it was to deep and I walked to the bathroom and collapse on the floor and my mom ran in. As my vision blurred I seen her face pale and full of panic. She grabbed me and carried me to the car as I bleed to death. She speed to the hospital and ran in trying to get a doctor to fix me but no one helped till a young man put me onto a stretcher and rushed me away to surgery. As I lay on the stretcher I think to myself this is what they wanted and I going to let them win, no I'm going to fight till the end. After surgery I went to recovery to see my mom. My mom is the only one who ever loved me. She never kicked me to the curb like my dad, stepdad, or my "friends". She had been there for me. I look down at my arm to see it bandaged up. The doctor walked through the door and said" you are very lucky to have a mom like yours. You have 4 stitches in your are." We thanked him. Then my mom asked "why did no one else take my baby girl when they obviously seen that she was almost dead?" The doctor said" this hospital doesn't really like people who cut but I will do anything for them." I said in my raspy voice " well why did you take me then?". He pulled up his sleeves and he has scared like mine. We exchange looks and then he said I have to be in the hospital for the next two weeks. My mom went home. I sat in an empty trauma bay when I here my cell ring it's my mom requesting a video chat, so I accepted. She said " katiebug your video chatting with your class, they want know what happened so I said for u to tell them." I started to cry and they laughed. I only said six words    "this is cause of you guys" and they stopped laughing and got quiet. One of the miss popular girls stood up and said " I wished you would have died it's a sham your still here." I hung up and started to cry and called for the nurse.
Two years later
7th grade
I was In seventh grade and I moved from sunny California to Tennessee. I didn't know anyone here so u though that this could be a new beginning. I made a couple of good friends and got a nice boyfriend. It was a great life. I had been there for a couple of months then it started again. I forgot to say earlier but I have very bad depression... But it was in November and my depression got very bad no one notices when I'm sad and lonely. I started to drift away from everyone and got quieter and started to cut again... Everyone seen that I started to were all black I would were long sleeve when it was super hot, I would walk alone when outside. And one day the boy I liked was walking with me we had a good friendship but Something changed and he looked me in the eye and said" go fucking kill your self fuckgirl" and I looked him in the eyes and tears started to tool down my face and I looked down and walked away and sat in this tune thing we have in the middle of the school yard( that's where I go when I'm sad). No one notices I'm missing and I sat alone and cried. I didn't let that get to me to much but then he told me everyday till one day I final said " suicide is not to be joked about and you need to stop" he said" well if you're stupid enough to kill yourself there something wrong with you and you need to die cause that's selfish." And I said " is this selfish" and showed him my arms. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He said" I'm sorry I didn't know but you are better off dead." So I said" well I'll go home and try for you and show you tomorrow ." He said" hope it workes." I walk away to sit somewhere else. The next day I come back and I see him approaching me. He said "soooo" and I showed him. He looked at me and laughed just laughed.... I started to cry and ran.
8th grade
So it's 8th grade and it started horrible. Everyone left me no one to go to. I walked down the hall alone ate alone. I started to cut more and more. Them one day a boy I knew(he hated me) texted me and said" hey Ik about your suicidal  attempts and I'm here to help." I text back " are you sure or are you going to leave me like everyone else  did?" He said" nope I'm here to stay. I broke in to tears, someone cared.... It was a couple months I was doing better my cutting stopped I smiled once and it didn't hurt. Him and I got closer. But one day he wasn't there for me and I fell hard and started to cut again...😔. When he seen he tried everything to get me happy but it didn't work. I let go.....

So this is my story sorry if I didn't write it well. It's hard to talk about it but tell be what you this