I needn't say anymore, if only I'd have tried harder, been quicker and stopped worrying what people thought about me then maybe things would be different alas here I am now stuck in a vicious cycle of pain, upset and lies. Nothing is true anymore. Who to trust, I do not know.
It's killing me. Everyday I die a little more inside. It's now become a regular habit to just leave and go to the same bridge only to let the flashbacks pour into my mind and devour all thoughts. I've been so depressed I've lost the ability to cry. The self harm got worse, the friendships crumbled and the truth would never be told again.
I would have let everyone know, would've recounted my story billions of times just to make sure no one fell into the same trap I did. But then I realised it was inevitable that I couldn't help the whole world so I stuck to helping those I loved and cared about most. Making sure that their happiness came before mine so much so that there's none left for me now. But who cares. As long as the others are happy I don't mind sacrificing every last ounce of happiness I have left just to make sure they're all happy, even if it gets thrown back in my face.
Maybe one day things will change,
Maybe one day I'll be free,
Maybe one day I'll be happy,
Maybe one day someone will care about me like I care about them,
Maybe one day I'll know who to trust,
Maybe one day...
