lovelorn

i.

infatuation. my fingers trail the outline of my lips, as i stare at the sky. tiny specs of light that scatter like freckles. the late august air feels thick and sticky against my skin.

"tell me about her." i let my teeth graze against jacob's ear. "the girl you like. aspen."

he looks to me. god, it takes every sane thought in my being to hold me back from smashing my face against his. my eyes flicker away when his gaze studies mine.

"she wore a blue dress today."

"lace," i suspect.

i watch the tendons in his jaw clench. his eyes close as if trying to imagine the dress now, the dainty fabric clinging to every curve of her body.

aspen certainly is a sight. long strawberry blonde locks that fall off of her shoulders perfectly. golden, dewy skin. rosy pink lips. hazel eyes.

"i picked flowers for her in the school yard today," he continues. his voice is unintentionally husky, and i can hear his breath as it leaves his mouth.

"daisies," i finish for him. "her favorite." i pretend that i simply know this as a fact, when really, i had watched him pluck each and every flower by it's stem.

if he noticed i was lying, he doesn't mention it. "i remember when we were little. ella, you and i."

i manage a smile. a painful one.

"we all wanted to be aspen's best friend. argued for ages." his eyes never stray from the stars. "i promised myself i would marry her before either of you could take her from me." he says it dreamily.

it's a sweet memory. but it'll never be enough for me to believe ella is still here.

i lift the upper half of my body, and bring my elbows back to prop myself up. "is that so?" i question, smiling goofily. "we were six."

his hands find my hair, intertwined between curly brown strands. "you're just jealous that i wanted to marry aspen and not you." he imitates a serious tone before cracking a smile.

"quit teasing," i huff, falling back onto the grass.

we're silent for a few moments, but my mind wonders. i chew my lip. mostly to keep me from trying to kiss him.

"troye," he whispers my name.

i hum in response—a giggle follows.

jacob's smile fades. he just watches the sky. "look how beautiful."

"i know." i say. but i'm not talking about the stars.