The Maternal Instinct : A Narrative

Her

The average age of a woman having her first born is twenty-six according to a survey taken in 2013. When my mother was nineteen years of age she got pregnant with me from a man she barely knew. They did not stay together for a continuous amount of time, in fact, when I was born they weren't involved with each other whatsoever. They then got married, and were divorced shortly after. Therefore my life did not include a father, however there were many men that came and went in my life because of my mother. None of them tried to fill the "daddy" shoes. I feel that it was because they knew they wouldn't be around for longer than a few weeks. One did stay for more than that, but he was a drug addict and very physically abusive to me and my mother. However no matter how much I tried to tell her and beg her for help, nothing was done. She did not want to believe me.

My mother dropped out of high school and college multiple times. She tended to think I would do the same as her. She never had a steady job, simply because she did not want to show up. Ironically to the information I'll be explaining, she is now a supervisor for the Mayes County Department of Human Services. Telling a child throughout life that they won't amount to anything is clearly very devastating, not only to outsiders but especially to the child. Children are very curious and adventurous. My dreams as a child were to play baseball, be a ballet teacher, and to be a cheerleader. I was told no to all of the above, plus some. I was told at a very young age by my mother and her "friends" that I would drop out of high school due to pregnancy and drugs, never make it to college, and most likely end up living off of welfare. My mothers life was far from perfect, so she never encouraged me or expected much from me. She thinks that I won't differ from her mistakes, but I have continuously proven her wrong and I will keep doing so. 

My mother has been addicted to drugs for the majority of her life. When she was younger it was anything from marijuana to methamphetamines. As she got older, and as I became more aware of her actions, she got hooked on prescription pills and alcohol. Leaving after work and going straight to the bar for hours upon hours without checking in was difficult for me. I've been asked if I think that her addictive personality will rub off on me. Truthfully, it did for a short amount of time. I was experimenting heavily with drugs and alcohol, so much so that it put me in the hospital. I learned my lesson quickly and decided that from that point on I would not let myself turn into what she is.