Recap
A while later my phone rings. the number was unknown. I push talk and place it to my ear.
"Hello" I say unsure of what to actually say.
"As salamu alaykum cupcake. How are you holding up?"
My voice was caught in my throat. I was so happy. I started to cry.
"Asmah baby are you okay?" isma'el ask worried.
"I....I......miss you....s...so much" I strutted as I cry.
"Baby don't cry please"
"I miss you" I get out the bed and go into the living room. I sit on the couch and place a pillow in my lap.
"I miss you too and when you cry I want to be there to hold you and comfort you but I can't because I'm here and your there. So please don't cry baby. It will make me sad"
"Okay"
"So what did you do when I left?"
"I went to stars and strikes with abi, ain, Aminah and uncle yusuf"
"Why didn't your mom go?"
"She had things to do"
"Oh okay. Did you have fun?''
"Yeah I did. I played laser tag and bumper cars and a whole lot of other games. We got home really exhausted"
"Really? What time did you get in?"
"Around 11:00"
"That's late. I'm glad you had fun though. I'm tired as I don't know what. I got here 8:00 in the morning and I'm just really tired but I called you because I couldn't keep you off my mind" Ismael said yawning"
"Well I guess I will let you sleep then" I say a little upset.
"I'm fine I wanted to talk to you" ismael said yawning again.
"Ismael just go to sleep okay and we can talk later"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive"
"Alright then as salamu alaykum my beautiful sweet cupcake"
"Wa laykum wa Salam" I hang up the phone and scream into the pillow. Why does it have to be so hard to say bye? I bash my head to the pillow. I hate myself. agh!!!
"It's haram to harm yourself"
I turn around and ummi was standing against the wall with her arms folded across her chest.
"I'm just so pissed at myself ummi. I don't know what to do" I throw my head back and put a pillow over my face.
"Asmah tell me what's wrong" ummi comes and sits next to me.
"I miss isma'el and I don't want to tell him to come back home" I lean my head on ummi shoulder and sigh.
"Well he has a aunt to care about at the moment. You are fine and healthy so he don't need to worry about you right now"
"I know"
"When you talk to him just sound happy and cheerful because believe me he is having a rough time. I had a really rough time when my mother and father died. I was really depressed and I hated the world. Your father was a mercy from Allah. He helped though the rough time and he help me see that I'm not the only one suffering. Yes it was hard to believe they were gone and that they will never come back. I had to accept that as apart of life. Inshallah I get to see them again. But the situation your going through is different. This is your first time married and you never experience being away from your husband that is in another country. You only been married for about a 1 or 2 months. So this is hard for you. Whenever you talk please be nice and don't sound like a spoil beat or all upset. Be encouraging and happy okay" I hug ummi and she hug me back. I'm so happy that I have a such caring mother.
