We're Just Friends... Aren't We? (Finished)

Chpt 11

i can't believe it. why did nathan have to come in when i was composing? how embarrassing. and now he'll want to know why i was so shaken up and ... ugh. i hate explaining. i stumble back into the room and see nathan on his laptop, probably reviewing something for one of his cases. he looks up as i walk in. he shuts the lid of his laptop really quickly and looks at me in that concerned way. great. "ivy..." he starts.

"what?" i ask him.

"you can tell me." he whispers.

"it's really not a big deal. just composing. you know what i'm like." i say, forcing a smile on my face.

"yeah. that's why i'm worried. you care too much for people who don't deserve it."

"i do not." i retort. he merely raises his eyebrows and i sigh.

"come on, i'll get the ice cream." he says.

"i swear you're a girl sometimes nathan."

"i am so not."

"oh yeah? i'll get the ice cream? that's a completely girly thing to say."

"shut up." he retorts, walking off to presumably get ice cream. i sigh and look at my guitar, sadness riddling through me. ugh, i hate pining over people. it's such a waste of time. "i bring ice cream." he says, opening the door softly. i look up and grin.

"you're crazy." i whisper.

"i know." he replies, sitting next to me and handing me a spoon. "so?" he asks, opening the box. i sigh.

"i was just composing and you-"

"don't lie ivy. i'm not stupid."

"i know. i never said you were."

"so?"

"can't you guess?" i ask, shovelling ice cream into my mouth as if it's the last ice cream i'll ever get to eat.

"john?" he asks quietly. i nod.

"mhm." i reply, putting my spoon into the ice cream tub and looking at the floor. "i'm so pathetic." i whisper, putting my head in my hands.

"you're not pathetic." nathan says, setting the ice cream to one side. i feel his arms come around my shoulders and he pulls me into a sideways hug. i start to cry.

"yeah i am. i'm crying over a stupid jerk who left me god knows how long ago and i can't get over him and it's just all so pathetic. i feel like i can't live without him which is crazy because he obviously doesn't care. and i should be over him by now. actually i should be with someone who really loves me and actually gives a fuck about me but that's not going to happen so here i am crying about it to my best friend. if you looked up the definition of pathetic in a dictionary, this would be it." i say in a long rant.

~nathan's pov~

i rub her shoulder softly. she's right in a way, she deserves so much better. there's no way that john is worth any of the pain that she's feeling. ugh if i ever see him again i swear to god i'd... no. i'm not even going to go down that road. "ivy. you know what you need? you need to just write a list of things you hate about him and burn it."

"that's the problem nath." she whispers into my chest.

"what is?" i ask, not quite understanding. she moves out of the hug, drying her eyes as tears continue to fall.

"there's nothing that i hate about him." she whispers, looking me in the eyes.

"what about the fact that he's an arrogant jackass?" i ask her. she sighs and shakes her head.

"i'm still in love with him dammit." she whispers, raking her hands through her hair. she gives me a side ways glance. "which is really pathetic."

"you just think you're in love with him because you haven't done anything with anyone else and you haven't met someone who makes you feel like he probably once did."

"i never will. guess i'm just going to be forever alone." she says, sighing and getting up. i get up too.

"ivy, that's not true." she turns to face me, a desolate look on her face.

"really? you really think that?" she asks me, looking really torn.

"i really do." i whisper.

"only an insane person would want me nath." she whispers, blinking sadly. i frown.

"ivy, that's not true."

"yeah it is nath."

"come on, don't be like this."

"like what?"

"all pessimistic." i say. she scoffs.

"this isn't pessimism nath, this is realism." she mutters, then turns around and walks out. leaving me alone with ice cream, very confused.