Loneliness is like a drug. It's like a powerful pain killer people wish they could get their hands on so maybe they could get a glimpse of the peaceful sleep they use to receive.
U may think differently but tonight I realized that loneliness does shield the heart. I was so consumed in warmth and love that when my soft security blanket was wrenched from my hands again I received the full force of each blow
Maybe not at once but little by little my small hands held my aching chest as the sting of loss spread further down my body ending at my fingers and toes.
Like most pain killers they take maybe the first layer of pain away but there's still that dull throbbing. The numbness that use to inhabit the burning of guilt in my veins. Each step I take, my bloody feet are screaming at me to turn back.
IM SORRY! IM SORRY! IM SORRY!
I wish I could yell but it's too late
My pride dug me too deep and I left the same scars she left in me and there's no going back
There's no more trust in the world and we all know it. We all know not to trust these words.
"Sorry" "I love you" "you're safe"
They're just excuses made for other people.
If you're reading this, know you're not the only one trapped in your own dark thoughts, everyone gets hit with that wooden bat of reality that life carries around ready to deliver that blow straight to our stomach. Don't you dare get up. It'll just make it worse. We all live life with our head facing the ground and now I know why. We don't walk our way through life, we get dragged by a chain around our wrist telling us to go away from what we feel is right and instead of fighting back we hide our faces in the dirt and pray for it to be over.
