Imposter

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Helen

March 2016

The years had been hard on Helen and Sam's marriage. Given what they'd endured, how could it have been easy? They loved each other, yes, but the loss of a child had torn the fabric of their marriage and for a good while, there was a distance between them Helen thought would never close. It had—mostly. With lots of counseling, they managed to salvage their marriage. Still—there were days when she wondered. Or maybe that was what all marriages were like after twenty-two years. Helen wasn't naive. She didn't expect passion to be around every corner but she did wonder if she should feel a more certain closeness to him after all these years.

Everyone mourned the loss of a child differently. At least that's what the counselor had told them so long ago. Helen couldn't help some of the resentment she felt toward Sam about the way he had moved on. To her, she would never give up hope but Sam had long ago written Sophie off as dead. And his way of coping involved working as much as possible which had left Helen alone with her thoughts too often.

She was wired, jumpy and short with everyone. Helen hadn't slept through the night in six days. Her doctor gave her a prescription to help but she didn't dare take them. She had trouble keeping track of the days as it was.

What if's plagued her. What if she took one and Sophie showed up? What if she didn't hear the phone ring? What if she slept through the doorbell? Helen blinked and slowly sat up, her body in knots from being curled into a ball on the bed.

Sam was already gone for the day. He'd returned to work a mere four days after Sophie's disappearance. Sam settled into the unwavering conclusion Sophie was dead with such ease that Helen barely recognized the man she'd married. Helen's search would never be over. She felt unsteady. She wanted someone to hold on to her. Her house didn't feel like home anymore. If Sam loved her, he would hold on to her. He would understand how she felt.

Helen inhaled deeply before exhaling the memory away. To save their marriage, Helen had adapted to his methods. Life had been a lot easier once she' d done that. Their relationship had bounced back over the last five years to a place she was content with. Plus, back then, she'd had Cora to think about.

Cora was one of those souls who watched to see what she could do for others, someone who would rather serve in silence. A kind and generous person. Her step-son Shane was a different beast altogether. Shane was like a square peg in a round hole. He just didn't quite fit. He'd been unruly from the start. A difficult child and a destructive one. She had tried so hard in the beginning to connect with him but she could never quite forge a solid bond. Helen attributed it to three things; the way his mother coddled him, the way his father treated him more like a best friend than a son, and then Sophie's disappearance. Those three things seemed to shape him over the years into a handsome man who was always seemingly on edge. However, once he'd started college, he had seemed to even out a bit, was more pleasant at family gatherings, tried a little harder to get along with Cora. His temper had seemed to fizzle out finally.

"What's for dinner, love?" Sam asked, breaking Helen's train of thought. He held her hand, brushed his thumb over her knuckles and looked at her as if she were his entire world. She loved that about him, even though it was a far cry from the way they had interacted just five years ago. She squeezed his hand to acknowledge his effort. It was the trying, on both their parts, which had gotten them through the roughest of times. It was the trying that led them back to a good relationship. A solid one.

"I don't know. I thought maybe we could go out," Helen answered. She billowed the sheet over the mattress.

Sam smiled and nodded. "Sure. Let me change and we can head out. Any hankerings?"