"I'm not always this mean. Trust me."
Is what Tony Lalehzarzadeh said after he raped me.
I called his father's dental office to learn how to pronounce that last name.
He lives at 2121 Prosser Ave in Los Angeles. A house of $2.5 million worth
But also in it holds the remnants of my security, and two white Mercedes.
He's $140,000 in debt but forever holding stock in my sense of love and self esteem.
He showed me all of his expensive watches... shoes... suits... and his security feed of the room I was in.
Along with that, he showed me why men aren't trusted. Why women look behind them when anyone is near. Why some women live in shelters and fear. Why my mother became addicted to meth and alcohol. Somehow every woman's words made sense:
"Carry pepper spray"
"Go with a friend"
"Walk in the street lights"
"Don't stay out past midnight..."
I reported it to LAPD and Detective at the North Hollywood division asked me why I went home with him after seeing the red flags.
I told her I believed a red flag was a green light I was afraid of.
She also asked me why I would go on an app like Grindr then I asked her where in society it teaches me to have a normal gay relationship.
She told me I was stupid and the DA wouldn't prosecute. She told me I should have used my man strength to push him off. But she ignored the fact that I was vulnerable in the same way as every woman who's ever been violated.
I do not know if I will ever recover, but does anyone? I guess I'll have to use my woman strength to get through the day. To fight like I was never hurt in the first place.
