I Realized This Is My Reality

How do I say goodbye?

(This is my first story. I've been contimplating posting it because I don't really know where the story is going, and I never really finish anything I start. Lemme know if you like it. I'll update when I know there's readers. Also I do not own any images unless stated otherwise. Thanks (: ) 

Holding back tears while searching for my black dress. I know I'm not supposed to question god, but why would he do this to me? I'm not strong enough to deal with this on my own. I never thought I would lose everyone close to me so soon and at the same time. I'm sure you're wondering who I lost and how I lost them. My parents and brother got murdered five days ago. My parents had just got back from picking up my brother Shawn from school when they walked in on the three men that thought they had more time. My mother who was only 37, was shot 4 times twice in her chest once in her stomach and once on her left arm. My dad, 42, got it just as bad he was beaten to death and then shot in his temple. My 6 year old brother was shot once in the chest and bleed out. They took everything valuable and fled the scene. I honestly don't understand how someone could be so heartless. They didn't stop to think about their consequences. I swear today's society is so messed up, that could've been their mother or father, their brother or sister. I just hope the guilt catches up to them and drives them insane.

Today's the day of the funeral, My boyfriend, Jerome is downstairs waiting on me, but I just can't seem to get a grasp on everything that is happening. I'm graduating in 2 days, and the three people who I wanted to see me walk across that stage is now gone.

"Babe?!" , Jerome halfway shouted from downstairs "You ready?"

I open my mouth to say almost, but nothing came out. How can I be ready to say goodbye to my parents and brother... forever?

"Baby?... Bae?... You okay?", Jerome said sounding like he's getting closer and closer with each word. Before I could realize it he was behind me. He reached out and touched my shoulder. I jumped instantly and swung. Before I could stop myself my fist was already flying towards his face. "Mehlanie, what the fuck!? It's me!", he said through a clenched jaw.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry baby.", I say while touching his face where I had punched him. "I-I just wasn't thinking clearly, I'm not here right now...mentally. I'm sorry baby.", I said to him rubbing the side of his face where I hit him. Jerome reaches out and pulls me close, "I know baby, it's okay. I got you. Now come on and get ready before we're late." I nodded my head, "I'm trying, but I can't find my black dress."  I said as I turned around and aggressively rummaged through my closet. Jerome chuckles slightly, "That's because it's on the bed babe." I quickly turned around and remembered I set it on the bed last night before going over to Jerome's place. I've been staying with him and his parents since the day my parents and brother passed. They've been so nice and welcoming.

I've been with Jerome for just about 3 years now. When I first met him I was the new girl at West Lake High School. I was a sophomore and he was a junior. I never dated anyone out of my grade and at first I swore that I wouldn't, but he was different. He was sweet and he treated me with respect, unlike the other guys who treated girls like they were a piece of meat on a plate. Let's be totally honest, who could resist a guy like Jerome. He was 6'1 when we first met, hazel eyes, the perfect shade of chocolate, brown dreads that reached the middle of his back, and when I say his body is swole I mean god took his time creating Jerome. I started dating him not only because of his looks, but because he saw me. I wasn't the most attractive girl around, I was the one girl everyone would just walk past. No one noticed me until I started dating Jerome. Hell if I was someone else I wouldn't have noticed me. I stood at 5'1... well I stand at 5'1... I haven't grown. I have natural hazel almost blonde hair that falls a little bit above my belly button. I never did my hair so it was always messy curls. I didn't have boobs like the other girls, didn't have an ass either, but Jerome noticed me..

I quickly threw on my dress and pulled my messy, now black curls up into a high bun.

Jerome looked at me with hurt in his eyes and quickly grabs my hand and pulls me towards him. We stand there for a while and in that moment I felt at ease. I know my parents and Shawn are looking over me, but I need them here with me. I pulled back from Jerome and without a single word headed out of my room and down the stairs in silence. I stood by the front door waiting for him to grab his coat and so we could leave. 

(I  promise the story is more interesting. This is just the only part I edited.)