Everything was fine. Then one day, it wasn't.

Chapter 1 - Silent In The Trees

It's cold outside. But the sky is filled with countless shining stars and a moon as white as the snow in December, and it's all so inevitably beautiful that Josh doesn't mind the cold. As he sits on a park bench near the lake, it's water still and black as the night, illuminating the small but bright lights above, he lets the events of the day slowly flow back into his mind and fill his conscious. As his eyes are resting on the view before him, and his breathing creates small white puffs of air, he remembers everything.

He remembers playing the show, everything was going smoothly. The fans were screaming, the loud music blaring, almost hurting his ears, and most importantly, Tyler singing. His friends voice was the clearest sound of them all. And oh so beautiful. He could hear it even as he played his drums, smashing at the cymbals as hard as he could to release all the anxiety he was feeling when looking out at the large crowd. They always made him nervous. He felt like they were judging every move he made, expecting so much more from him than he could ever give them, and this made him somehow more determined to improve. He wanted to be a better person, a better drummer, a better brother, a better son, a better friend. What he didn't realize was that he already was all those things.

As the show ended, Josh remembers him and Tyler standing at the front of the stage, side by side, bowing and thanking the fans for being there and supporting them. Telling them to always keep trying and never give up on their dreams. Of course, Tyler did most of the talking while Josh stood there awkwardly, a smile plastered to his red and sweaty face, just wishing he could hide behind his drums and escape the staring eyes. He loved his fans, every single one of them, but his anxiety was making it hard for him to show it on stage.

Josh remember as Tyler and him walked off stage together, still smiling and waving to the fans. Everything was perfect. Everything was fine.

So why does he feel so empty?

Sitting on the wooden bench in a deserted park Josh asked himself that question over and over again without being able to come up with a satisfying answer. He had everything he ever wanted. He was able to make a living out of doing what he loved most in the world, playing drums. He was in a band with his best friend Tyler, and had people around him that cared and supported him. He had what most people only wish for.

So why does he feel so numb?

Josh tilted his head up to once again look at the sky, filled with endless stars. How can something dead be so beautiful? He watched the shining lights, some of them flickering, some of them shining stronger than others, wondering how he ended up being in this situation. Why couldn't he just be happy and enjoy life like everyone else? He watched as one after the other the stars quietly disappeared, leaving no trace of ever existing at all.

An hour passed. Then another. Josh sat on the bench, completely lost in his thoughts. Why does he feel this way? Why now? But no matter how hard he tried to think of the cause for it, he couldn't figure it out. He couldn't control this heaviness filling his chest, telling him that something was wrong.

A light breeze was begging to blow, rustling the leaves of the dark silhouettes representing the trees. Silence filled the air, and the only thing that could be heard was the occasional traffic from the city. Josh leaned back onto the bench and stretched out his stiff legs, unaware of the time passing. He was surprised as he suddenly felt the warmth of the sunrise, unfolding before him, and only then he realized he was freezing. He ran his cold fingers through his damp, messy hair and let the sun shine on his face, admiring it's beauty.

After a while he decided to return to the hotel, realizing the park would soon be filled with people. As he got up and began to walk, he checked his phone and saw multiple messages and missed calls, mostly from Tyler and Mark. It was 05:27 am. Josh cursed under his breath, realizing that without any intention to, he probably made them worry about him.

While hurrying back to the flat, he pulled up his grey hoodie and kept his head down. An invisible dark cloud seemed to be following him, making his stomach fill with agony.

He was fine. Everything was fine. It's all in his head. He's fine. He kept repeating it over and over again.

But the feeling remained.