Life changing experience

Chapter 18

Niall's POV.

Hannah's all cuddled up to me. I suddenly get a chill down the back of my spine. Love. Love is a scary thing, but when Hannah and Love is in the same sentence it doesn't seem bad. Not bad at all.

We stay awake for a while when I see that Hannah eyes start to close, and she yawns. I look down at her, and ask her if she wants to go to bed?

"No, I'm not tired," She says while yawning. I laugh because she is so adorable. I'm glad she's here.

"How about I put you to bed, and I go to bed too,"

"Fine, I guess if that's what you want," She says seriously, but a smile escapes her lips.

She reaches her arms out, so I pick her up bridal style and Bring her towards the bed.

"I could get use to this," She says.

"I wouldn't mind carrying you for the rest of your life as long as I'm the one holding you," I say. She smiles, and tries to lean up to kiss me, but can't because she's a shorty. I start laughing at her, and her cheeks turn bright red.

"Oh just kiss me," She demands.

"If that's what you want," I say smiling, and lean down to kiss her, still holding her.

After I kiss her, I drop her on the bed, and start kissing her again. I kiss her neck softly, and lead my kisses back up to her mouth. I love her with all my heart, but we still have only been dating a month. I'm no player. I still kiss her, but not leading it to anything..Yet.

I kiss her one last time on the mouth, and get up to get a drink.

"Where you going Horan?" She asks.

"Getting a drink. You want one?" I ask.

"No thanks," She smiles.

I just get a water bottle from the fridge, and take a sip, then head back to the bed.

"Miss me?" I ask.

"Desperately," She says sarcastically, and adds a little laugh.

I smile, and jump on the bed next to her, and kiss her lightly on the lips. I want her.

"I'm not tired anymore," She says, and kisses me a little harshly, and I kiss her back. She takes her lips from mine and sits up. Removing her over shirt. All I can do is stare at her. I've seen the nice, and shy, but outgoing Hannah. Not this Hannah. I like it, but not now.

"Hannah," I bite my lip, and she kisses me. I grab her shoulders and push her back a little. "Hannah, no, not now anyways." She pushes her hair behind her ear. Embarrased I guess. I didn't mena to embarrass her. I mean I want her, but when the time is right.

"I-I'm sorry.." Her voice trails off. "I don't know what got a hold of me. I've never done this before. I've never felt like this before." Her cheeks turn red.

"Hannah, don't get me wrong. I want to, but I'm not like this. I want it to be pefect. Not in a hotel room where anyone could easily, you know.." 

"Oh, Niall I'm sorry,"

"Don't be. Trust me Hannah. I love you. I just want it to be perfect." I half smile.

"Okay." She says. And I laugh a little. "Oh Shut up Niall." I smirk, and stpo laughing.

I grab her and pull her into a hug.

"Mmm..Gotta love these Horan hugs," She smirks, and kisses me, and turning around going to sleep.

~~~~~~~

Hannah's POV. 

Last  night was the most embarrasing night of ly life. I finally show my affection for someone, and they reject me? The worst part is that it was Niall rejecing me. My Boyfriend. That is so.. There's no words. Am I just not attractive or something? We have a romantic date, and then we cuddle, and he just looked so good. I really don't know what came over me. It was like something took over my body. Somehting that was ready to pounce.  

I just lay in bed until Niall wakes up. I'm not hungry, so I just ask to see if we can do something today. Instead of staying here all day with this hanging around in the air.

"Yea. I'll ask the boys, but it can't be long because we have to be at the auditorium before three in the afternoon. Okay?"

"Uh, yea, alright." I feel a bit weird to be around him now. I was willing to give myself to him, and he just didn't want me..Yet.

He wanted our time to be perfect, which I cann get, and it's sweet and all. Atleast now I know that I'm ready. 

"Hey babe, The boys and I have a rehearsal before the concert, so we won't have time to go anywhere. Sorry. You can come to rehearsal though?"

"Okay, yea," I say softly.

He walks toward me slowly, and places a kiss on my forehead.

"Don't be embarrassed about last night Hannah. I've never seen you like this before, and I want you too be happy? Okay?"

"I am happy Ni, just a little shy. You know?"

"Don't be Hannah. I love you. I want us together for a long time. We are going to be living together after tour, and things like this might happen again. It could be me or you, but either way we both need to get over what happened last night. Okay?"

"Yea, I know," I say louder than expected. I'm a little ticked off that he is saying this to me. he didn't have to go through the feelings I was feelings. I layed awake in bed almost all night thinking about it.

"Niall you think that it's easy to forget. It's not. You didn;t feel what i felt. All you got was to witness the after show. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and finally when I'm comfortable enough with us, and the whole situation with Sex?"

"Why are you getting so worked up about this Hannah?!"

"Do you think it's easy to forget about a horrible experience of sex, and let it go. Finally around three years later I'm fine with intimacy again. I'm not fine with it. Only if it's with you. Being rejected from my boyfriend was the most embarrassing thing has ever happened to me Niall," By the time I was finished Tears were streaming down my face. Niall's face expressionless. Just empty, with his eyes wider than usual.

"Hannah, When you say bad experience.." He trails off which makes me cry more. "Were you.." He doesn't finish his sentence.

"Yes," Is all I get out of my mouth.

He comes closer pulling me into  a hug, and presses his lips against my forehead for what seems like forever. Now that this is off my chest. I feel..better I guess. I feel comfortable. We hear a knock at the door, and Niall yells to come back later.

"Niall you have to be ready in fifteen minutes. Management called, and said we needed to be there eariler than before, so hurry it up," Louis says through the door.

I look up at him, and smile. I get up and go into the bathroom. There is mascara all down my cheeks from me crying. Good thing I brought make-up remover pads.

When I'm done cleaning up Niall knocks on the door, and says he needs to come in. 

"I just need to check my hair," he says, and I let him in. We share the mirror. He stroke his hair with a brush a few times, and calls it done. I take the brush from him, and make his hair look 'nice' as in decent.

"Lou is gonna end up doing my hair anyways," He blurts. 

"It doesn't hurt to look ice before you see Lou Ni," I say.

When were done arguing about his hair we leave the hotel room and head to the waiting Van outside.