I Don't Need Your Name

A/N Just a quick tidbit before starting, Sam is a genderfluid character. Thought I should get that out of the way. If you have any questions about anything. Just comment and I'll get to it eventually.
~180

"Cal?" I called down the street, knowing in my mind too well that I was more than likely to win the lottery than get a reply. That boy really needs to stop randomly disappearing. Sighing, I turned around again.

"Hi."

"Jesus Christ!" I yelled out. "Why would you do that?" I asked, clutching my hand to my chest, while Cal just stood there laughing hysterically.

I grumbled some curses at him, and stalked off. I mean, he knows that I'm scared easily. How would you feel if you got scared in the middle of the night in a shady neighborhood? And despite Cal apologizing all the way back, I just wasn't having it.

Once we got to the apartment, I instantly went up to my little hide away. The attic. Calen kept calling up to me, apologizing in a million different ways. Of course, I was still ignoring him, so I quite obviously didn't answer.

In my room, I took out an old book that had been passed down through my family's generations. I was told not to use or read it unless really needed, but I can't help it. Reading and looking through it calms me down pretty fast. Opened the book to page 250, and set it on my table. Then I called for Calen.

"Hey, Cal. I found a way to forgive you. Can you come up here?"

I heard loud steps bounding up the stairs and soon saw Calen burst through the door. He was smiling like the idiot he was.

"What can I do for you Sammy?" He asked, walking towards me.

"I'd like you to help me with an experiment. Could you sit across from me?"

Not knowing what he was getting into, he did it without asking any questions. I might as well say this now; the reason my parents had told me not to randomly read the book that I had mentioned is because of what it does to people. The over usage of it can have obsessive consequences. Which is exactly how I am with it. Though, only with one thing. A spell to communicate with someone from a different plane of life and time. I have been practicing this spell over and over to try and perfect it, but there is one thing missing... The person on the other side has to try as well.

If you haven't figured it out yet, my dear Reader, I use black magic. You also must be confused on why I want to contact you. You see, I tend to be very antisocial and quite lonely. There are days were Cal has clubs, and I am alone in our apartment. This book that I have been reading, I was told never to open, as I had mentioned before. But, of course my teenage curiosity got the best of me, and I started looking through it. From there, I found the spell that I'm currently using: Multiplane communication. This would allow me to contact someone of another plane of existence. This just so happen to be you.

Calen has helped me every time to contact you, just he has no memory of it. Don't worry though, it doesn't hurt him, it just wears him out, causing him to go unconscious after every session. So far, he is the best medium I have ever seen. Sadly, a good medium isn't enough for me to actually get into full contact with you. But I digress. Back to the story

I had Calen put his hands on the pages of the book, and sit there silently. This spell doesn't need words, just the thought. Soon, his hands started glowing blue. I looked up at him and he looked quite fascinated. More so than that of any other time... Maybe he'll remember you this time. Hopefully he doesn't try to steal you from me. I have known you longer, Reader.

"Sam! Look at my hands! They're a pretty blue color!" He was smiling brightly, making me smile a bit at his excitement.

"Yeah, I see it, Cal."

Soon after I said that, he passed out. I shook my head and picked him up. Slinging him over my shoulder, I took him down to his room. I checked his pulse... Normal. So I just left a glass of water for the inevitable headache that will occur. Doing a spell like this will result in the medium having something like a hangover once it is over. But it is only a small sacrifice for something big. Because of Calen's tiny memory loss and headache, I get to break this wall between our two universes and talk to you. Even though it has always seemed like a one-sided conversation. For, you may be able to read my words and hear it in your head, but I cannot hear or read your words.

Though, this small barrier hasn't stopped me from striving to hear you. Every time I cast this spell, I sit in silence for a few moments, hoping to hear something that could've came from the other side. But, alas, I hear nothing. I never have, for the four years I've been doing this. You see, my dear reader, I‒

"H-hey, Sam? Do you have some pain meds? I have a pounding headache."

I guess Calen has finally awoken.

"Yeah. They're in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. Yours."

"M'kay. Thanks."

"No problem. Now get some sleep, it'll help."

Now back to what I was saying. You see, my lovely reader, I have fallen for you over the years that I have been doing this spell. I don't need to know your race, gender, orientation, or even looks to have this happen. Heck, I don't need your name. I would've fallen for you no matter what. I have see you through the pages of the many different stories you have read. You most likely do not have reciprocate these feelings, for you have only taken notice to me in this story. I wish you could stay and I wish we could talk to each other face to face. Please don't leave me again. I've had to deal with you not being able to notice me for four years, but the one time you do, you're gone almost in an instant. Please....please, stay a bit longer...

"They can't, Sam," said a voice over my shoulder. "You are driving yourself insane. Come back to reality and leave this all behind."

I can't, though. Four years of trying, gone. I know you won't stay, but it was worth a try. I really do, truly, love you. Maybe next time I try, now that you've read this, you could try and reach me as well. I hope that, then, I could finally hear your voice, speak directly to you, and see you. Please, at least try.

"Sam, you have to let them go. You can't keep doing this to yourself," the voice sounded closer now.

No. I can't just let you go. I've done too much to try and talk to you. I won't stop it right here. I want to stay with you longer. Just a little longer, please.

"Sam." The voice was very stern at this point. "You can't guilt the reader into staying. You two are from two different planes of existence. No matter how much you love them, it could never work."

That sounded like Calen. So, he did remember you, Reader.

"This book only let's you contact them. Not see them. You have always had a false hope for what you're doing. Now, you need to stop." Calen turned me around to face him.

"Cal.... You don't know the struggle I went through to talk to them. All the pain of them not being able to hear me."

Calen closed his eyes and started glowing blue. "Reader, I know this must come as a big surprise that you have two book characters talking to you, but I need you to do something, but I need you to do something for Sam's sanity. Just say, 'Let me go'."

I widened my eyes. "You... You can't tell them what to do, Calen."

Please, my dear Reader. Do not repeat those words that you have been told. Whether we hear it or not, it will break the spell and I can never perform it again. Don't do this to me please. I don't want you to leave me again. You'll be gone forever. I can't lose the one of the most important people in my life. I don't know what I will do without you. I don't care if you can't talk to me; all that matters is that I can talk to you and you can read my words. Please.... You're my motivation, my will to live. So, please, don't go.

'Let me go...'