If Only {COMPLETED}

Chapter 1- Roommate

Why does this have to happen to me?

He was so young.

He was my brother.

My brother was picking me up from dance class and an idiot that wasn't paying attention crashed into us , killing my brother. It shattered my leg, had a few cuts and bruises but I survived. When I woke up from my comma I found out my brother died. He was the only other family member I had. I lived with him. Now I live in that apartment by myself ,missing my brother more and more each day. Sometimes I have dreams of him and that incident . I wake up , not being able to breathe, and crying. I miss him so much. My best friend comforts me through all of this. She comforted me when my mom died and she comforted me at my brothers funeral. She's always been there for me. She was like a sister to me. She's all I have now.

-

Today I meet my best friend to talk about something that's "supposedly" important . I get a caramel macchiato and wait for her. I saw her come in looking serious.

F/N~ Y/N we need to talk.
You~ What's wrong ?
F/N~ One of my workers brothers just lost his apartment . He didn't pay his rent on time and that was his last strike.
You~ What part do I have in this?
F/N~ Could he possibly stay at your apartment until he finds a new one?
You~ Why me? Why can't he stay with you? Or one of your other workers.
F/N~ I don't have enough room for another person to live there and your the only person I know that has a spare room in their apartment.

When she said "spare" room, you started to tear up. The only spare room there was was your brothers room and there was no way you were gonna let some stranger sleep in your brothers room.

F/N~ Look I'm sorry I brought it up but come on it's been a year now. You have to let it go.
You~ I can't let it go if keeps appearing in my dreams every single night! I wake up not being able to breathe and crying my eyes out because of that dickhead of a driver.

You start crying your eyes out a couple of people stare at you for how loud you shouted and noticed you were crying.

F/N~ Come on let's get you out of here.

We sped walk out of the cafe and near an alleyway.

F/N~ Ok take a deep breath.

I kept breathing in and out until I calmed down.

F/N~ Now the guy doesn't have to stay in his room but if you want me to come over and rearrange back room that have some boxes in it ,from when you moved in, to be his room would you be okay with that?

You sniffle and think about it.

As long as he doesn't go into my brothers room we won't have a problem.

You~ Ok . Bring him to my place tomorrow and help him unpack. I'll also lay down some ground rules.
F/N~ Don't be too possessive.
You~ I'll try not to.

After we discussed the plan I went home to tidy up the place before he comes over. I threw away the boxes in that back room , swept , dusted, and mopped. Then I had to find the key to lock my brothers door and if I needed to get inside I'd use it. I couldn't find it anywhere else in the house so I took a deep breath and headed into my brothers room. I wanted to cry . It was the first time I had seen my brothers vacant room in a year. Memories started to flow back of everything we did, all the times he been there for me, all the times I used his shoulder to cry on. Now I don't have that. I broke down and fell on the floor.

Why did you have to take him so soon?
I need his presence.
What am I supposed to do with him gone?

Those thoughts ran through your mind almost every day since he passed. You still question why he left. Why did God plan for him to leave so sudden? Each of those thoughts made you cry. You didn't want to cry anymore. You need someone to fill that gap in your heart. But you don't think there will be anyone that special for that to happen.