Morning of Regrets

That One Morning

I never trusted a man anymore.

For me, all men were the same. They couldn't be trusted. They talked sweet, act romantic but, in the all of them were just a lie. I didn't assume these thing without a reason. I used to love one of them but, he was the reason why I started to have this bleak heart.

He was JC, the love of my life for two years.

He was my high school sweetheart. Kind, understanding, good looking and sometimes romantic. I couldn't ask more from him. I believed he was the one for me, I believed I will spend my old days with him, share our love until we close my eyes forever.

But, I was wrong.

After two years, I just could see his true face... I didn't know that he was a good actor that could cheat behind me without I noticed. Not once in those two years.

Until one day he slipped with his good acting. The woman got pregnant and she was a daughter of someone who had a big power to crush someone like him in a blink of eye. He had no choice but to marry her, left me devastated and broken into the tiny pieces. Our engaged status just remain for three days when he left me.

I was like a broken doll after that. I was breathing and walking but, my eyes were not alive, they were empty. My weight dropped drastically since I had no appetite at all. I even didn't feel hungry at that time. My days only filled with lot of cries that also drained my weight into 80 pounds. Yes, I was just like a walking bones that time.

I started to get sick oftenly and my mother started to join my cry every night. She liked to soothe me by helping me to eat or to drink the medicine. But, it didn't work well on me.

Until one day she came and ask me to marry a son of her friend. The reason, she wanted me to start a new life with another man.. A good one in her opinion to forget all about JC. My mother said, the son of her friend was kind, good looking and had a good job. Tch, it was not too different from JC's first impression.

She was crying and begging me to marry that man. With her long determination and beg, at last I said yes half heartedly.

"Hi... My name is James. James Reid." He pursed a shy smile the first time he introduced himself. He looked nice, well mannered and kind. And after we got married, he's always gentle, protective and treated me like a queen. Being an orphan and had no siblings, made him showered all his attention to me and even promised to love only me forever because, his mother said he should only married once. But, I won't get fooled for the second time. This James Reid  must be not too much different with JC.

 

*  *  *

"Good morning." An usual voice as always greeted my morning before I even fluttered my eyes open to see the world. A tender lips landed on the top of my head then the voice uttered "I love you." near my ear.

I hated it. I hated when I had to hear my husband's voice in this early morning. I kept my eyes close before I heard a click sound from my bedroom door that indicating the man already gone out to wake up the children. I opened my eyes slowly and stared blankly to the white ceiling on my room, hating each day I woke up.

This was me, the one who had a bleak heart.

After I cleaned up myself, I walked to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I decided to cook pancake. Not so long after I started to fry the pancake on the pan, a sound of little chattering started to fill the dining room. I guessed my twin children already washed up and ready for school.

I smiled a little when I heard they did a small bicker between them. My children... were the only reason why I still could live until this day. I didn't know if I should thanked him for them or not.