Diary of love

Thursday 12th december

Today I was feeling really crap because I was wearing my collage clothes which consisted of really baggy trousers and a size 12 tunic. Where as I am a size 6-8 and I wear a skirt.

Anyway me and Abbie decided to go up and sit outside maths during break and when we were going up the stairs he(jake) was there. I went up to him said hey and started talking to him. I then realised I was in the most ugly clothes I had ever worn in front of the guy I was seeing. we talked about collage and how much I didn't want to go and he just hugged me. my heart exploded in to flower petals. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he squeezed me so tight it was ridicules. so I squeeze back. I told him I had to leave so we squeezed one more time and I left

After maths I had to go and catch the mini bus to take me to collage. It was about twenty to one in the afternoon and the bus doesn't come till around one. so I went and stood near the mini bus shed. the only thing was that's where he (jake) hangs around. he wasn't there. so I went and leant up against the wall and went on twitter. I looked up for a second and him and his friends were walking towards me so I looked back down to my phone. he walked up to me and asked when the bus comes. making small talk I guess. then he put his had around my waist I felt crap because the tunic made me look so fat. so I put my arm round his back and leant on his shoulder.

I told him I really liked him an he said it back. then I hugged him and he hugged me back but only for a second. then he pointed to two girls and said that they are lesbians and me and jake were still connected somehow and staring at them then they both looked at us and me and jake laughed and looked town towards our entwining hands.

I heard small remarks from his friends saying stuff like look who's getting it on with ate at eleven and stuff like what you doing with a year eleven you little rebel. I just laughed it off and carried on being with the guy I love.

The bus came. I told jake I had to go so I said bye and he pulled my arm back and softly grabbed my hips and pulled me really close. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my back. we hugged so tight. it felt amazing. he squeezed me so tight I was lifted off the ground. it was the best thing ever.

I got on the bus and I couldn't stop honking about him at all. my heart was still in my stomach.

I had to go to the dentist so I didn't get home Until like five o'clock in the afternoon and I messaged him straight away. somehow the convocation got turned in to me and him (jake) having sex!!!

I knew he was a year ten so I told him we weren't legal and he said it would be ok and I didn't really want to tell him the real reason for me not wanting to do it with him because I didn't feel we were that close yet.

I went in Facebook and told Abbie everything and she said he was only Fourteen. fair enough I'm fifteen now but I'm gunna be sixteen in a month. that would be so bad.

I went bak on snapchat and basically told him I was scared and of he really wants me he would have to wait until I was ready. he said ok and that he was sorry for even bringing it up and I said it was ok.

He said he loves me to much to hurt me like this. and I said I loved him to.