Let Me Help You

SOS

Seto made good progress over the course of the next six weeks. He didn't open up about his childhood on his own, but if Joey asked specific questions, he found that Kaiba wouldn't lie to him. He either told the truth or refused to answer. Joey was careful to keep those conversations brief, few, and far between, wary of touching a nerve and triggering a nervous breakdown—or worse, a relapse.

Seto had taken up both running and boxing to cope with his issues and satisfy his need to physically release his feelings. It was better than cutting, for a number of reasons, but Joey noticed how he managed to still make them self-destructive activities. On days that he was especially hard on himself, he boxed without gloves, going hard until his blood stained the punching bag and his hands hurt almost too badly to use. He would run fast and far, not stopping until he collapsed and his whole body ached like hell for the next few days. If nothing else, it made him stronger, strong enough that Joey upped his own game; if he didn't, he would no longer be able to hold his own against his friend, which was something he did more for Seto's good than for his own. Kaiba needed someone to save him from himself.

They had become friends, somewhat, and that in itself was another little victory too. Joey had become Seto's only close confidante regarding personal matters, and while they still bickered much of the time, a litany of insults had been scrubbed from their vocabularies. They were smart enough not to bite the hand that fed.

Kaiba did have one relapse, only one, but it was pretty bad. Joey had gone away for the weekend to visit his mother and sister; he'd told Kaiba a week ahead of time, only deciding to accept his sister's invitation to do so because he was certain that Seto was in a good place, that he'd be alright while Joey was gone. Since when had he started to feel responsible for Kaiba's wellbeing? When he'd returned to the mansion Sunday night and immediately learned from Roland that Seto had locked himself alone in his room almost an hour previous, he'd known that it would be bad, but he hadn't expected...

Joey told himself that Seto hadn't meant to bleed this much, that he'd gotten so close to death only by accident. He wouldn't leave Mokuba behind, not like this, he repeated to himself as he stripped himself of his t-shirt and tore it into strips, tightly bandaging the deepest cut on Kaiba's arm, the only one that was still bleeding. He gently propped him up into a sitting position with his back against the wall, then went to the closet and dug out some first-aid supplies so that he could start treating the less serious cuts. As he did so, Seto stirred faintly, but neither spoke nor woke. Joey removed the pair of bloody scissors from Seto's fingers and dropped them into the sink, letting the water run over them and carry the blood down the drain with it.

How pathetic: the powerful CEO reduced to such a state where he turned to some dull scissors in his search for some kind of release. What did he actually gain from cutting himself? Joey had never understood that about self-harm, but then again, was he really all that different with his anorexia? He shook that thought out of his mind, filling a tall glass with cold water from the sink and turning around to empty it all at once on Kaiba's head. That woke him up. As he spluttered and struggled to grasp the current situation, Joey knelt down so that he was on the same level as him.

"Why?" Joey demanded, clearly furious. Kaiba's mouth opened and closed, for once at a total loss for words. He tried to look away, but Joey seized his chin between forefinger and thumb and dragged his gaze back to Joey's. "Why, Seto?"

"How would you feel if one of your father's drinking buddies told you that you were just like him?" Kaiba snapped suddenly. It was the only thing he could think to say off the top of his head.

Joey's anger ebbed as he considered the scenario. He was deep in thought long enough that Seto freed his chin from Joey's hold and brace himself against the wall, attempting to stand.

"Wait, you shouldn't—" Joey sprang to his feet in time to catch him as he collapsed.

As the world around him spun, Seto lost all sense of balance, the spacial disorientation jarring his sense of control. He squeezed his eyes shut, the blurred vision making him nauseous, and held tightly to whatever came to his hands.

"I've got you, Seto, I've got you," Joey murmured, his big brother instincts kicking in as he gently lowered his friend back to the floor. Seto, still panicking from the sense of vertigo, wouldn't let go of him, so Joey simply sat close by and let him hold on, concern consuming his anger. He held up three fingers on one hand and said, "Seto, how many fingers am I holding up?"

Seto opened his eyes slightly and grumbled, "Six," before squeezing them shut again. The vertigo had intensified for those few moments he'd opened his eyes, and he fought to quench the feeling of instability by resting against Joey, trusting him with his weight as his cheek pressed against his tanned, bare chest. He was the only stable thing Seto could cling to.

Joey blushed as Seto pulled him closer, putting his arms loosely around the brunette in a reassuring manner. "You need to get stitches, Seto," Joey said quietly. "Do you want me to call your doctors?"

"Not yet," Seto mumbled, pressing even closer to Joey as he felt himself falling through a black void. He let out a low groan and shivered as a fresh wave of nausea swept over him, a headache beginning to swell behind his temples.

"Tell me what happened, then." Joey hoped that the act of telling a story would help Seto to feel more grounded.

"I had a meeting today, nothing too important, just making some minor contract changes before renewing the agreements with some of our oldest connections." Seto spoke slowly and with difficulty, but persevered through it so that he could justify himself to Joey. "One of the lawyers was an old associate of Gozaburo's. After the meeting, he approached me for some small talk, and we interacted briefly. Before I left, he commented that I had done a good job emulating my step-father, that he'd be proud of me if he were still here."

"Perhaps he didn't know—"

"Mr. Tanaka knew my father quite well; I can still remember the two of them keeping each other's company quite often at those stuffy cocktail parties he would drag me to. He is not deceived as to the kind of man Gozaburo was." Seto choked up and fell silent, Joey's heart aching for him. "Am I really just like him?" Seto's faint, rough voice sounded truly pitiful to Joey's ears, but the question itself was even more so.

"Seto Kaiba, you are a better man than your step-father could ever be. Don't forget that." Seto seemed grateful for the words, judging by the way his tense body relaxed at last in Joey's arms. Joey had to make an effort to smother the urge to kiss Seto's pale forehead and reassure him with more than just words. "Has the vertigo passed yet?"

Seto mumbled a half-intelligible "I don't know."

"Maybe you can try opening your eyes, then," Joey said trying to keep the both of them on task. "Your arm still needs stitches." Seto stirred, moving his left arm experimentally. From what Joey could see, he didn't have any difficulty or pain when he moved it, but the strip of t-shirt tied around the cut was stained bright red just the same. Seto opened his eyes and sat up straight at last, and they released each other reluctantly, both blind to the fact that the other was equally reluctant and for the same reason.

Joey helped Seto stand up, but was pleased that he at least didn't need help walking. He insisted, however, that he stay with Seto until he saw that he was properly patched up and alright, which meant that he would be remaining shirtless for the rest of the evening until he retired to his own bed. As he and Kaiba strode in silence down the hallway towards what Joey had mentally dubbed "the infirmary," he found himself grateful that Mokuba had been put to bed hours ago. It'd be uncomfortable to explain to the child why his older brother was covered in blood and why Joey was shirtless.

Joey had been hoping that this was the full extent of Kaiba's troubles, but he was about to discover a whole new side of Seto that he'd never imagined.