Reinvent Love?

Life is like a tart

The words, so delicate in her mind as if they would deteriorate if she thought about them for too long. 'Life is like a tart', over and over again she told herself, 'life is like a tart'. The words circulating her empty mind as she began to tuck into her, now-almost-cold home made apricot tart. with tiny bites she nibbled through the crust and thought, 'Is it because it is tough at the start, until you find your strengths?...' she started to bite into the oozing centre of the dessert. 'Then you can concentrate on the good stuff, the richness, the freshness, the fleshy juicy love of life,  the addiction - so strong no one wants to let go?' It was settled then, life really is like a tart. 'Unpredictable as well',she thought as she came across a lumpy part in the centre of the tart.
She scooped up her phone and sunk down onto her freshly made bed, she carelessly went through her notifications. None. Like always, bored as ever she went through her SMS from her friend, and she read silently in her head. Like the first time she had read the little poem her friend had written just for a laugh, she felt the same spark of hope from even the very edge of her heart that had seemed untouched in a while. she began to read the story a second time, but she let her happiness spread to her voice as she read aloud.

' As he gracefully slowly sat beside his one true love his dear girl, on the warm and cosy bed she began to steer. The sweet little thing, gracefully as ever lay his sweet head onto the pillow beside her and lay next to her comfy as ever.
'Sing me a song my dear prince' she whispered from beside him. The he smiled to himself as he knew just how much she loved to hear him play. So he picked up his ukulele and began to strum the softest most beautiful song the both of them had ever heard. "When I was a young boy..." he sang, but before he could finished his line the she chimed in "my farther took me into the city to see a marching band" they both laughed and together sang the most harmonious beautiful version of the song they both new so well.
The two looked each other in the eyes as that song bought back memories of their childhood. Both were thinking the same "what a story to to tell our children when they're old enough, the drunk history of fall out boy, and how life was like before My Chemical Romance got back together and also how Brendon Urie was barely surviving before Spencer Smith re joined Panic! At The Disco".
The two feel asleep in each other's arms dreaming about their futures together.'

Her smile still existent as she was stuck in her own reverie for a good five minutes after she had finished analysing the poem. her smile quickly sinking into her heart causing her to jump as she realised it had been over two years since she had last seen her friend.

She settled herself down to think for a while, even though she knew that the mind is a dangerous place when left alone.

The story - a distant memory of what she had hoped her future would be like; over two years ago. At school with friends and a healthy environment that was mundane to her. Now, that life barely seemed to exist at all, when she could feel as light as a feather dancing in her dreams unrealistically ecstatic and chirpy. But that was life at the time.

'memories turn into daydreams, become a taboo', sang that Panic! at the disco song. Though she had never witnessed true 'hard times' back then, but in this age it was a completely different story now it felt like hard times were the only times that exist. Soon she hoped that her future would be re-written. The constant melancholy thoughts lead her to the feeling of Extrasensory perception, as if she could sense woefulness from the present being passed to the future.

Back in her golden days, she couldn't obtain her happiness for the future and it's challenges, now she longed for nothing but her happy, careless past. her memories playing with her emotions manipulating her weak mind into dreaming about 'what it used to be like' and accepting nothing less. Her music choices was the only thing that she felt was piloting her through havoc and heart ache. The music made her feel understood, recognised and a little lighter in her mind as if it had let her mind drain of overthinking. Finally she felt like she had understood the meaning of the Fall Out Boy lyric,'which came first, the music or the misery? We're high fashion, we're last chances'. When it was clear that the misery had come first, then the music as if used as a mental paracetamol to take the heat of all her pain away.

The thought of a good future kept her her waking up in the mourning, ready to await the new and undiscovered was making her fell strong and open minded. In '(Coffee's for Closers)' by Fall Out Boy, there are lyrics that could explain her thoughts in a song any day, ' I can't explain a thing. I want everything to change and stay the same oh time doesn't care about anyone or anything. Come together, come apart, only get lonely when you read the charts...' If deep song lyrics came with illustrations, she believed Pete Wentz could have drawn her mind split into two and left it at that.

'Change will come, oh change will come', another lyric from that same song that she treasured the most of all was really what she believed in. She kept that lyric tucked away safely beside her heart for when she needed it the most.