it's my turn to cry :: exo/tao [complete]

IT'S MY TURN TO CRY (ONE SHOT)

(a/n:pagpasensyhan na po ang mali-maling grammar. Nagpapractice po kasi akong magsulat ng english para masanay na ko since kakailanganin ko to sa pagsusulat.

Sorry din po, basta ngayon pa lang sorry na, malalaman nyo mamaya kung bakit ako nagsosorry.)

"I'll leave." I said while we're eating our dinner.

"Huh? Why?" Luhan hyung asked. It seems like he's worried.

"Uhh... I don't know. I just want to go somewhere, find myself and what I really want, have a quality time with myself." I lied.

"When do you plan to leave? and where would you stay?" Kris hyung's voice is full of sarcasm. I know that he's mad, actually all of them are mad.

"Before Christmas." I answered.

"But Tao, we still have concert on Christmas." Chen said.

"And why do you need to leave? Is there a problem? Are you not happy anymore with your hyungs?" Xiumin hyung started to cry.

"It's not like that..."

"Then why? We are one, right? We're family, a big happy family." Lay raised his voice.

"You're going to leave us without reasonable reason?! Then go!" Kris shouted and left the dining area.

All of them followed Kris hyung except Xiumin hyung.

"Tao, we love you that's why we're acting like this. Make us understand you." He tapped my shoulder and left.

The reason why I want to leave is because of a girl. I've met a girl when I was roaming around the city alone, we had a little talk, and she told me that she's fan of EXO. She's pretty, nice, and has beautiful smile. I admit that I'm attracted to her. I got her number, we contact each other very often, I text her after rehearsal, events, and photoshoots, and she also do the same, she texts me every now and then. Until we fell for each other, but we can't be together since I'm in showbusiness and I don't want her life to be ruined because of me. I know one thing to do for us to be together, quitting in showbiz and it includes quitting in EXO.

I love this girl. I even wrote her a letter.

Dear someone who's reading this,

Hi. I just want to say that I love you, and I want to stay by your side, but being an EXO member is the reason why I can't stay by you're side for a long time. We always meet in secret, I always hide you whenever we're together, it's not because I'm not proud of you, it's just I don't want your life to be complicated because fans saw you dating EXO's Huang Zitao.

I love you. I want you to be happy. I don't want your life to be complicated. I want to be with you, that's why I'm going to quit, I'll leave EXO. Don't worry, it's my own decision, don't blame yourself, okay? I happy with my decision, and I know my hyungs will be happy for me too.

Stay there, okay? Just wait for me. I'll be there, we will be together soon, Jagiya.

Xoxo.

Your Oppa,

EXO's Panda

And now, I left EXO for real. We can be together now. We can live peacefully without thinking about the fans,but I was wrong. Trials and problems came.

You came to me while crying.

"J-Jagiya.... *sob* your fans... your sasaeng fans... *sob* they hit me..." you were crying so hard.

I hugged you tight. I want you to feel safe and protected. "Sshh!  Don't cry. I'm sorry, I wasn't able to protect to. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault..." your still crying on my chest.

That thing happened for several times. You always come to me crying, and I always feel helpless because I can't protect you. Until one day, you get tired and left me. You just left without saying a word, you left me dumbfounded. I got upset, I even forget to take care of myself.

"EXO's eleven members are dead."

My world stops when I heard the news from the television. "EXO were on their way to Incheon Airport when the van they're riding lose control and hit a approaching truck. 5 members, Kai, Luhan, Chen, Lay, Kyungsoo were dead on the spot, while the 6 remaining were dead on arrival. According to our source, Kris keeps on saying Tao's name, former member, and to keep himself always safe, while he's in the ambulance." When I heard what the reporter said, my tears fall just like a heavy rain. My hyungs. They're gone, they're all gone. I should've be there, I should've been with them. We are one but I left them. Until their last breath, they're thinking of me. I'm such an asshole for leaving my family for a girl who left me.

I just realized that leaving them is not worth it. I wasted them, I took them for granted. And now, they're gone.

If I could just could turn back time, I would turn it back from the dinner that I said that I'm going to leave. I would rather say how much I love them and I will stay with them until our last breath. But I'm not EXO's Tao who can control time, I'm just the Tao who's full of regrets and sadness.

Thank you hyungs for taking care of me, for thinking of my safety, for being the best members and family to me. And now you're gone, my heart and soul are crying so hard. I will cry forever because of your loss. It's my turn to cry, hyungs.