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I hate bipolarism

It's something that I've been struggling with for a while now... Strange mood swings... Chronic depression... and worse of all, fits of unimaginable rage....

This is the constant war zone that is my life... I'm not posting this anywhere else... So you guys that read this are the only ones that know....

It started when I was 8, I had my first mood swing... I lashed out at my dad and mom, and I hurt them bad... I chose to bury this, and not let it surface again, and thy chose to forget about it....

Years later, my mood swings were getting worse... I was having one every single day, and I was hating all of them... Even the happy ones...

My mood would shift so quickly, that I thought that what someone said set me off... But no...

When I was 16 I was diagnosed with severe bipolarism... And from there, I started learning ways to keep it suppressed... Not letting it take control of me for a long time, had such negative results....

I was in school, just a normal day, normal routine and everything.... Then someone threw something at me.... I dont quite remember what it was, but what i do know is that it set off an emense rage that had been building in me...

I flew over the desks and started punching, kicking and clawing that asshole all over. Everywhere that was close enough to attack, I did....

He almost cried out for help... But I silenced him before he could... I didn't kill him at all! In fact, he was just bleeding in a couple of places and bruised in some other places...

He forgave me after I explained why I did that, and we went on to actually be the best of friends... His name... Is Chance...

What makes my condition even worse... Is that I'm an empath... I can feel others emotions, and their emotions become my emotions...

So, now that I'm trying to help fight depression in others... I'm becoming depressed myself... It's unhealthy, and it's hurting me slowly... But I still want to help fight depression, in any way that I can... Any victory over it, no matter how small, is cause to celebrate.

So now you guys now my deepest secret.... One that I tried to hide from everybody... Including my boyfriend... But, if he reads this... Then now he knows, so he can be better prepared for it...

You guys can ignore this post completely if you want... I wouldn't mind... But I had to tell someone, before my head exploded with pent up emotions...

Thanks for being such awesome friends guys, it really means a lot to me! 💟

Be safe, stay positive, and love everyone around you, no matter what!

Love you guys~
Skyy