"You know I love you, right?" Matt lopsidedly grins. That silly smile of his used give me butterflies but now it fills me with guilt. I no longer retain same feelings for him as I did before.
"I, I know you do." I hesitate. My weight constantly shifts from side to side; I can't seem to stand still.
"What's wrong Rebecca?" He can sense my nervousness. I already feel bad, but now I feel even worse. He's so sweet; he doesn't deserve me to leave him.
"Hmm?" He pushes for the answer.
"I don't think I can lead this relationship on anymore." I quietly reply. He looks downhearted as he tries to find the right words.
"I'm so sorry Matt. I really am." I look at the floor. The look on his face makes me want to take my words back, but I can't. I don't love him, and I can't force myself to.
"What did I do? I promise I can change." He pleads.
"You did nothing wrong. Don't change, please. I tried to convince myself that we were a good match, but it just wasn't going right. I know you'll find a girl who really loves you." I grab his hand and squeeze it. I'm reassuring him he'll find someone better than me.
"But I love you." His voice cracks. I pray he doesn't cry, because I'm going to die from all this guilt.
"I know you do. I never said you didn't. I loved you. I really did. I want you to know that, but things have changed." I look at his bedroom door. I should leave, but leaving will only make his heartbreak sting more.
"You can go." He answers, reading my mind.
I look at him one more time. The sadness on his face replaces the happy glow I usually see.
"I may not love you, but I deeply care for you." I say honestly.
"It's alright Rebecca. You can't change your feelings." He understandingly replies.
I get up from my spot and I open his door to leave.
"See you tonight." He tries to keep his voice steady.
"See you." I softly smile and leave his room. I close the door behind me and I left out a sigh. I hear Matt sniffling on the other side. He's crying.
I fly down the stairs and run out the front door. I want to escape what I have done.
Instead of calling my older sister Grace to pick me up, I decide to walk home. Luckily, Matt lives in the same neighborhood as me. But I'm on the complete opposite side and we live in a wealthy neighborhood so it's a long walk. I need the walk though, to clear my head.
I'm still not sure why I don't have feelings for Matt. He's sweet. Smart. Handsome. My parents love him. And he comes from a wealthy family like me.
But is that what I want? I mean, from what I just listed Matt seems like the perfect guy. But then again, Matt bores me. All we did was hang out at his or my house and talked. Yeah, we kissed here and there but I can't even remember the last time we made out. Or if we ever even had a kiss last longer than seven seconds.
I remember Grace constantly telling me that Matt was prude. And that I'm going to end up just like mother if I stay with him. I always ignored her, but she's right. I mean, there's nothing wrong with my mother, but all she does is stay home and tidies everything. I don't want that in my future.
What is it, then, that I want? My parents would never approve of anyone but Matt. But it's my decision who I love. Not my parents.
I get distracted from my thoughts as one of my heels split in half. I stumble to the ground and curse under my breath.
