What is life? People say life is a wheel. A rotating wheel with happiness on top and sadness below. Happiness will be welcoming us with open arms, but so are problems. Sadness. Troubles. And every other things that's going to bring us down. I think most of my life is at the bottom of the wheel. It's an endless routine of unhappiness. Maybe everyone also felt that way once.
That's when I started hearing her.
I am very aware that she's not a human. A spirit maybe? Or just my wild imagination? I don't know. Eitherway, she persuades and continuously supports me to do what I love.
At first I'm scared. Fighting for what you love is hard. But she's always there. Encouraging me. And so one day, after hundreds of tries, I did it. I reached the light.
That's when it hit me. I'm dead. I could see below me, my own body strap to wires and machines. I was in a state of coma. That's when the line went dead- the line for my beating heart.
Tears slips down through my mom's cheek. It hits me hard in the chest and my heart seems to be ripped into pieces. But through the tears, I could see my mom smiling a sad smile.
The voice. It was my mom's. She's encouraging me to be happy.
My life down on earth is not always a rainbow. If it is- it's a dull one. My mom had worked so hard to make a living for both of us. I had never been happy with that. Putting all the weight on my mom shoulder's while I was in school studying- I felt I did nothing for her. Not even once. All I did was make her pay more for me.
Everything was black back then. I don't know what happened. I was scared. Then the light showed up. The light- I felt welcome there. But I don't want to leave my mom alone. I think a part of my heart knows that. My mom knows. She knows I'm suffering. And despite the tears that fell from her eyes, despite the fact that she knows she's going to face the world alone, she stills thinks about me. About my happiness.
I'm not giving up. Sure, I may not be a human anymore, but I will always be in my mom's heart. If I get a chance to be by her side- physically or not, I'm going to always encourage her. Encourage her to be happy.
To mom,
Thank you. For everything. Lead a happy life now mom. Just know that I will never leave you. I love you. And just know that if you are ever unhappy, it's my turn to make you happy. And I'll try my best to do just that.
-The end-
