Experiments 2476 & 2477

Abigail- Only for good

I want to scream. Scream so loud that my own eardrums bust and my lungs die of over-exhaustion.
The facility is abandoned. Everything has been wiped clean. The computers, the drawers, the cells, the offices, the experiment rooms. There is nothing left. No sign of HYDRA. And definitely no sign of Strucker. He's gone. Along with all of his other sick friends and workers.
I'm beyond angry.
My entire being is filled with fury, such red flames of fire. Rage.
Without realizing it my eyes are red, completely red; void of pupils. My body is glowing, glowing in pink. And I'm levitating at least five feet in the air.
They would get away with it. Those horrible, despicable pathetic wastes of human life, will never be convicted. Never confronted. Never punished.
Because there is no evidence. No evidence of anything. Of the death that thrived in this place. The agony that plagued the air. The haunting memories will forever linger with no rest. No release. And the failed experiments will be forgotten. Will never be avenged. HYDRA won't be vanquished, and they'll never be sorry. But why would they?
Only the good people, the innocent seem to suffer. The ones who want nothing but peace and to live their lives in tranquility. But it's never considered. Apparently evil doesn't give a crap. It doesn't care what you go through, as long as it feels better. As long as it gets the high of destruction its heart desires.
My fists clench, and I don't have control anymore.
Walls are caving in. Objects are being thrown. And Loki is desperately trying to drag me into reality. Because I might hurt him.
And that thought is what brings me to my knees. What weakens me.
I'm sobbing, crying, begging for the universe to cut my sister and I some slack. Why? That's what I want to know. And I will never get that answer.
I'm aware of the arms that slip around me, and the soft pleads for me to stop crying. Loki's gentle arms pull me tighter against his chest, his mouth continuing to whisper my name. But I can't think clearly. I can't breathe properly. I'm such a mess.
An ugly mess of emotion.
Lately all I can feel is pain, sorrow, and anger. That is someone I wouldn't want to be around. No one should have to deal with me. I'm surprised even Loki puts up with it. And my sister. She's put up with me for years now. Why do they stick around? Why not leave?
Eventually my eyes dry up, too puffy and swollen to let tears out. And I'm just sitting there, resting in Loki's arms, whimpering like some coward, some little girl that I can't grow out of.
"Love... I am sorry." Loki speaks first.
He's brave.
"No, I'm sorry. I could have killed you. And all for what? God... I am so stupid."
Feeling more depressed than I've ever been, I wriggle out of Loki's arms, and run my fingers over my face.
"It's over. He's going to get away with it Loki."
"No he won't."
His tone is so firm, so strong that it startles me. I tremble, watch as steps towards me.
"Even though I haven't seen or felt all of those heartbreaking, painful memories you have in that beautiful mind of yours, I know how you have suffered. And I won't rest until that monster gets what he deserves. His actions against you and your sister are inexcusable."
My heart has officially grown too large. I can't even understand how much his words mean to me. And I don't think I've ever met someone quite like Loki.
"Why do you care so much about me, Loki?" I ask, daring him.
Daring him to tell me why he feels so deeply.
He grins. Looks up at the ceiling. Then back at me. "If I could answer that, I would tell you. All I know, Abigail, is that I need you. For some reason, you are my only bridge to sanity."
Suddenly I want to fly. He needs me. He needs me.
He.
Needs.
Me.
"Now, let me take you back to Stark." He says, taking my hand.
No. I don't want to go back. I just want to stay here. And breathe. And breathe Loki in. I want to stay here.
'That is a dangerous idea love.'
I don't know how or why, but I smile. Despite everything, I grin from ear to ear.
"Maybe I need a little danger in my life."
Loki smirks. "That's what I'm afraid of."
"I didn't think you were afraid of anything." I say teasingly.
"Well. I know for a fact that I never want to get in a fight with you."
Interesting... I let out a small laugh. "If you think I'm scary, you never want to see my sister when she's angry."
Loki gives me a smile. "Note taken."
I begin to lose myself as I stare into his alluring eyes. Their razor sharp edge glows in a captivating green. Inside they hold so much, I just can't see it all yet. And I want to uncover those secrets. Even if we just met, he means more to me than I can ever be able to describe.
"And Loki?"
"Yes?" He asks curiously.
"Thank you for being my friend. It's been a while since I've had one of those."
My words cause Loki to suck in a gulp of air, obviously very affected by what I've said. I'm not entirely sure why, but it makes him recoil his hand from mine and take a step back. The motion is stiff. Guarded almost... Why?
"Let's head back." He quietly suggests, already heading for the exit.
Puzzled, I follow him wordlessly. Was it something I said? I thought he'd appreciate it. Maybe his mind is open... Though it's wrong, if I can't understand a person's actions I impulsively try to read their thoughts. When I pursue Loki's however, that same wall is there, with an extra thickness to it this time. Whatever he's hiding, he definitely doesn't want me to know about it. That or he's scared of our closeness in friendship.
Loki and I trek the way back in utter silence, his presence suddenly weighing on my shoulders. It's beginning to prick my nerves. How could what I said have offended him? Before I said that, he basically claimed me to be his only friend, the one he was currently relying to help him think clearly. And now he's striding five feet ahead of me, acting cold. Distant.
"Loki, what's wrong?" I propose the question.
He turns around for a moment, hesitant to answer me.
"You do realize that I'm bad for you, right?"
Oh. Alright then.
"Excuse me?" I reply with a snap to my tone.
Loki runs a hand through his hair as we ride the elevator up.
"Abigail, I'm dangerous. I'm not good. I like to kill... Doesn't that bother you?!"
Suddenly I'm quiet. Stricken of my voice. But it doesn't matter. He continues on again.
"I've murdered innocent lives! Broken families! Destroyed parts of this very city! I'm not-" he stops, clenching his fists. "Abigail, as much as I want to be with your friend, I don't think I should. You're damaged, covered in scars. What if I only make it worse?"
Tears threaten to spill out of my eyes. His words leave a stain on my heart. Because he's right. I'm damaged. I'm covered in scars. And Loki has done horrible-unspeakable-things. Do I really need that in my life?
"Loki..." I whisper, unsure of what to say.
Luckily the elevator doors open, and we step into the darkness of the living room.
The more I think about it the more I feel myself sadden. Would losing him be worse? To not have him with me as a friend?
I look into his eyes, the only things illuminated in the blackened room. They hold my gaze, and something stuffy fills the air between us. It's heat, blush and something like hunger.
It hits me.
I swallow, taking a deep breath.
"You're not a monster. You've shown me the good in you. I see it," my voice steadies, "Besides, I can't afford to lose someone else."
He reaches out, his fingers cupping my face with such a delicate touch, I can't tell if it's real. But then he pulls me close to his chest, and I have never know something so true. So there. So amazingly wondrous.
I gladly wrap my arms around him, welcoming the warmth. The original cool temperature of his body automatically sets on fire from the flames of our touch.
Friends.
"I'll let you ruin me, Loki."

•••

I don't know what time it is, but it's early. And there's some severe shouting going on in the living room. Mostly I hear Loki and Thor's voices... That can't be good.
Last night I went to sleep, Loki letting me have the bed, while he took the couch. I'm surprised no one heard us, but I was grateful that I slept at least a full 8 hours.
My feet creep down the hall, careful not to make much noise.
Standing in the kitchen is Loki and Thor, both arguing something awful. The rest of the Avengers are kind of just watching, not sure of what to do. Must be some brotherly conflict... Or it's more likely about me.
"...No! You're going back to Asgard, in a prison cell where you belong!"
Oh boy.
"Where I belong?! How do you have the right to try and tell me where I belong-"
"Ok! Stop!" I practically have to scream to get them to be quiet.
The avengers stiffen when they see me, probably because of the many things I've done in the last 24 hours...
Thor gives me an ice cold glare. Yikes.
I retreat to Loki's familiar eyes to calm myself, and it works.
"None of this is Loki's fault. If you want someone to blame, it's me. And I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused. Listen, I'm a flawed person, and I-I'm not proud of it. But please. Forgive me."
They all stare at me, now giving sympathy. But not a lot. Less than I need, actually.
And I realize, I'm going to have to prove myself to them if I want to be accepted as one of them...
"What can I do to make up for it?"
Captain America automatically steps forward.
"Promise to only use your powers for good."
Loki clenches his jaw, but says nothing. He disapproved obviously, still, I really need to get on their good side, and for his sake too.
"I promise."