(HP) When Time Isn't Enough

Chapter 4

Fides, Roman Goddess of Faith and Loyalty

-

I didn't receive much training with my papa before his death. It was Uncle Sev who took me aside and taught me the few spells I knew.

It was tough learning these things. He would take me to the Shrieking Shack every now and then, but only after he thoroughly scoped it out of enemies and covered it with wards. Underage magic usage was very dangerous in my time. The Death Eaters would track down anyone under the age of seventeen to prevent them from learning curses strong enough to be a threat. That also meant, however, that the wards Uncle Sev put in place were just as deadly. They were a giveaway to anyone in surveillance for the Death Eaters that someone young was being trained.

As such, I only learnt the basics. The one time we were nearly caught, Papa punched Uncle Sev and I didn't see him for six months.

I hated him for the punishment he set for me. I wasn't allowed outside the Manor for months.

I told him I hated him for doing that to me. I told him over and over again. It wasn't fair that I was being treated that way. I didn't want to be sheltered like that.

Aunt Hermione told me one time that he had been locked inside his own room for days on end when he lived with his Muggle relatives. She said she couldn't understand why he would do the same thing to me. The more I thought about it, the more I hated him for it.

But one night, I heard him crying. It happened a lot with my papa since he missed Dad so much. He missed Lily and Dad and there was nothing we could do to bring them back and make him happy again.

This was different though. I heard him muttering my name instead of Dad's. He was apologising. Aunt Hermione had her arms wrapped around him as he cried, telling her that he was so sorry for what he had done to me; for trapping me the same way he had been. He told her over and over again that he couldn't lose me like he had lost everyone else. He told her that I was all that he had left. Papa said that he would change everything if he could. He said he would have sent me to live with someone else if only I would be safe and happy with them. He said he should have done that the moment my dad died.

It was the first time I had cried over his words. He kept telling her that he was a bad father. He wanted to do a better job. He wanted to start all over again. He said that he felt like giving in to Voldemort every time I told him that I hated him. He couldn't cope with my pain. It was worse than losing me.

And then he begged her to take me, to make me happy. It was the first time I had ever heard Aunt Hermione raise her voice. She yelled at him, refusing to take me in.

I went to him that night and apologised to him for everything I had said.

We didn't talk for a week.

Uncle Sev and I never tried to train ever again.

-

The next Friday, it happened. Lucius firecalled his son and requested a potion specifically designed to capture the enemy.

And Draco refused to make it. He flat-out told his father, the patriarch of his family, that he would not create such a potion. In the back of his mind, he knew he should have lied about it being too difficult, and he had even practiced what he was going to say, but when he saw his father's face, he knew he couldn't lie. It came out. The 'no' that he had been suppressing spilled from his lips before he could stop himself.

The silence that followed nearly killed him. And then his father disappeared from sight, ending the conversation completely.

Saturday was Quidditch. Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. There'd be nothing in it. Potter would win without breaking a sweat.