***TRIGGER WARNING***panic attack occurs***Please be safe***
Troye was anxious.
Constantly.
Only one thing could calm him down, one person.
Jacob.
The chocolate brown of his eyes, his strong embrace and manly scent made Troye feel at home. Troye's favorite spot in the world was with his head on Jacob's broad chest. His deep heartbeat gave Troye a sense of rhythm, something he could count on, he could grasp it like it was a physical thing. He knew it would never leave.
But sometimes Troye's brain would trick him,
he doesn't love you.
why would anyone love you?
he is disgusted by you, he has to hold your hand .
he has to see your chewed up fingernails
and when he sees them you get so nervous you bite them more
pathetic.
This Friday was particularly difficult. Troye was home alone all day, it was his day off. He nervously waited for his boyfriend to come home. Jacob always calls Troye during his lunch break to check in on him. always.
So when the clock hit 1:00pm and his phone didn't go off he was worried.
he probably just went on break late.
but what if he didn't
what if he's in trouble.
1:10pm
what if he didn't call because he hates me
what if this is his way of saying he doesn't want me.
of course that's it.
why would anyone love me?
he probably never loved me.
1:30pm
Troye began to panic. He felt as if the world was closing in on him
hedoesn'tloveme hedoesn'tloveme hedoesn'tloveme hedoesn'tloveme hedoesn'tloveme.
tears started to stream down his face as he fell to the floor.
// Jacob's pov//
The clock hit 1:00pm as I took a deep breath. I headed to the break room to call Troye. He was the only thing that could make my day better. I went over to my locker and checked for my phone. It wasn't there.
shit
Troye is going to freak out
he needs me.
today is especially hard.
he needs me and I'm not there.
I began frantically searching the break room for my phone but I couldn't find it. I was practically crying knowing Troye would break down if he didn't receive the call.
1:10pm
In one last burst of panicked energy I knocked everything out of my locker, and my phone flew to the floor.
I'm so stupid
of course it was in my jacket pocket.
I immediately dialed the familiar number and impatiently waited for the ring to stop and the loving voice of my boyfriend to answer. But there was no response.
This isn't good.
I grabbed my stuff and quickly ran out of the break room, passing my boss and telling him I had to leave, that it was an emergency.
What I saw when I rushed into the familiar apartment broke me.
Troye was sat in the middle of the kitchen floor in a fetal position. He was shaking as uncontrollable sobs racked his small frame.
I dropped everything and rushed over to the small boy quickly scooping him up in my arms. His bright blue eyes looked dark and full of panic as he clutched on to my shirt like it was the only thing left in the world. I hugged him close and slowly ran my hands through his messy ringlets knowing from previous experience that this would calm him.
"Troye, baby, I need you to focus on my breath and try to match your breathing with mine. Take a deep breath in and let it out, just like this,"
I continued until his breath became more steady constantly whispering words of assurance
I love you
I'm never leaving you
never.
after a while, Troye's breaths became more even and he stopped shaking as he melted into my embrace.
"You're ok, you're ok now, I'm here"
"T-thank y-you," Troye shakily whispered.
"I'm always here for you, I will always love you,"
"Promise?"
"Promise."
a/n:
So here is another one shot. Sorry if it wasn't 100% accurate, I have never experienced a panic attack myself, but I have coached my friend through one on multiple occasions and I always do the same breathing technique thing she taught me and it seems to work. Anygay... I hope you guys enjoyed <3
- Jewels
