The Best Ways To Die!

Day 1

People calls me the death creator. Everyday, I find a victim, and there is no way they can fight me. I am not a monster, but i just like the word "death".

You might think that I am a psycho, but if you are scared, don't read this book.

                                                                               Start Of The Book

===============================================================Victim 1 is screaming for help while i am preparing for his death. 

"Here, take these," I said, giving him a bag full of pills. "Hmmmm, these shall give you cancer, amnesia, Asthma......." I whispered to him, counting the pills.  

Before he could even say or scream out anything, i smash all the pills into his mouth, before he choked to death. "The effects should begin anytime now......" 

Suddenly, he started to choke. White stuff come out of him mouth, he fell on the ground, and smashing his own head on the wall. Within one minute, blood has already covered his face. I can even see his bones, and he raped himself! "Well, that was quicker than i expected."

Just like that, a "job" is finished. I don't get money for this. I don't get fame for this, I just like doing bloody stuff.

Ok, time for victim 2.

You won't believe what I did to Victim 2. I made him to get into a gunfight with Pope Francis. 

I made him order Pope Francis to challenge him to a gunfight. Of course, it won't end well. Challenging the pope to a gunfight in front of 2 billion people, really. Now of course he is sitting in jail, waiting for the worst moment ever.

Victim 3's death, quick painless.

Very simple, swallowing rocks. Not just ordinary rocks, but rocks picked up from a volcano, and heated up by a 3000 degree oven. What first happened, is that first he started to choke, and coughing, and hitting his chest.

"WHOA! DON'T MAKE MY NEW CLOTHES DIRTY MAN!" I said because his throat began to melt and he started to puke "hot burning disgusting stuff" out, almost hitting my brand new clothes and my shiny jordans, making me look fresh.

" I will leave you here, friend." I said to that sad, "painless" buddy lying on the floor, half melting, half choking.