Night after night I lye awake in my bed, sleeplessly, listening to the nothingness that surrounds me, with my eyes closed, and my mind wondering around violently. Wondering if I ended my life this very second, not even if I ended it, if anything were to happen, a robber shoot me or my house caught on fire and I were to be stuck inside, what would happen to me next. Would I go to heaven, was there even a such thing as heaven. Would I know that I died? What my funeral would be like? Would my mother have it in a church, with a prissiest, even though she knows I'm Atheist? Would anyone even show up? Would I be reborn, or was that something that was only a belief? I wanted to die just to find out what would happen, if there was an afterlife. Or maybe when I died, I woke up, like it was all a dream, and I was watching my future and it's a chance to change it. All these thoughts wondered my mind endlessly. I would stay up numberses nights just thinking about this. What on earth was keeping me here, what was my purpose on this planet? Or was there a purpose? Were we here just for the hell of it, were we worthless creatures made from a fictional "God". Was the fictional "God" real or was he just another belief? I guess only the dead know. That's why I wanted to end it all. I wanted to know if everything I ever believed in was the truth or not. Would I met "God" when I died, would I be greeted into the heavens by angles, would I be reborn, or would I just riot in the ground and just be nothing, a faded memory leaving peoples minds to be forgotten one after another? What would happen to my body? Would the corner do an autopsy on me? Would they tell my mother that I'd been doing drugs or about my self harming scars? What would I wear to my funeral? I bet my mom would make them put some horrible dress on me. Would they keep my piercings in? I could only hope. After I died, would I be a ghost? Are ghost even possible? If ghost are possible, then what other supernatural creatures out there, is there? What if when we died, we woke up as an alien, and the life we just lived was all just a bad dream. What if when we died, there was nothing, not even darkness, it was just the end? How does death even work? If you get shoot, you feel the pain from the bullet, you bleed out and feel less there and cold, then what? You die. But what do you feel when you die? Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? Do you see angles or "God"?
