Damaged

Chapter 3

Cassie’s POV

I arrive home, and the house is quiet. I can tell that it’s not the good kind of quiet. Like the library quiet. But it’s quiet all the same. I go into the kitchen, to find my mother, passed out drunk at the kitchen table. I am incredibly saddened, at the fact my mother let alcohol into her life. But I am also angry, that she is still doing it. Even after what it’s done to our family. I go upstairs to my room, drop my things off. And head back downstairs, now carrying a blanket. I place it over my mother’s shoulders. I couldn’t let her get cold. I go upstairs towards my parent’s room. It’s more of my dad’s room now though, because my mother never seems to sleep in there anymore. And he never seems to leave it. I poke my head through the door and wave hello to him. He gives me a half smile and waves back. I haven’t properly heard his voice for a while. He doesn’t usually say much. I don’t try to initiate conversation. 

When I’m back in my room, I grab my pyjamas and head off into the bathroom to have a shower. I step inside the shower, and I let the warm water cascade over my body. It was relaxing, and a nice feeling. After I’m finished, I get changed and go back to my room. I check my phone to find 2 text messages from an unknown number. 

*Hello there Cassie, it’s just Jackson here texting you to say hello.*

*Just making sure my previous message sent, did it?*

I type out a simple response. Although it’s only 6.30, I do not want to talk to him right now. I want some time for me.

*Hey Jackson, I’m sorry I was just in the shower. However I think I might head off to bed now, early start tomorrow. I’m looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow afternoon. Goodnight.*

His reply comes in almost instantly.

*Oh that’s no problem Cassie. Goodnight, sleep well. I am also looking forward to seeing you tomorrow, beautiful.*

I find this text message sweet, and am extremely flattered by it. I quickly put my phone on charge, and head back downstairs to find something to eat for dinner. I decide to make some toast, I’ll also make something for my mother and father. I put 6 slices of bread on the grill, and wait for them to toast. When they’re finished, I wrap 2 slices up in cling wrap, and leave it on the table for mum. She can choose what she wants on them. I head to fridge and cannot find any butter, so I settle for Vegemite. I pour 2 glasses of water. I first choose to take dad’s up. I hand it to him, giving him a smile. Hoping that will maybe make him smile too. Really smile. My dad looks up from his paperwork. And nods his head, as his way of saying thank you. I miss him. 

I go downstairs, and grab my dinner, taking it to my room. I place it on my desk and begin to eat it. My room is silent, and all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing and chewing. I’m alone. Completely alone. With just these four walls. I finish my dinner, and my water. I walk back to my bed, and snuggle into the sheets. I lay on my back and stare at the ceiling. It hits me. No. Understatement. The realisation crashes into me, like a tsunami. I realise, just how alone I am. My family life, is absolutely screwed. What family? I begin to question myself. I feel that it’s just three people, living in the same house. Or staying in the same house. Because we certainly aren’t living. We’re just getting by. 

I don’t like to talk about this, with people. This isn’t something that people know. Because I’m embarrassed. That my mother’s a drunk, and my dad doesn’t talk to me. He only pays the bills. Darcie doesn’t even know this. And I don’t plan on telling her this anytime soon. I am so alone in this world. I decide to finally give in to that lump in my throat, as I begin to cry. I sob. Louder and louder. But no one rushes to my aid. No one cares.