Sadness In Her Eyes: book 1

Prologue

"You did what?"I felt my whole world freeze over. "I cheated on you but it was a mistake I know that now, can forgive me?" he asked. "Ten months, ten, and you do this to me?" Maybe ten months didn't seem like a big deal to him but it was one of the most amazing memories for me. "What was I suppose to do, let it happen ?" he asked.  "There are so many ways you could have prevented her from trying suicide!" I exclaimed. He didn't know the girls like I did, how they do or say anything to get between a relationship."Like what,"he snapped.

      "You could've let her know she has family and friends that love her and they miss her." I was heartbroken and tears warmed my cheeks, my whole world was collapsing. All I have ever done is show him the love that every guy dreams for but it wasn't enough. "I'm sorry, babe," he said sincerely. He reached for me, I stumbled back  away from him and cried silently.

       "Did you truly love me, ever?" I questioned. "Of course I did, what kind of questions is that," he spoke offensively.  Did? When you love someone you don't see anyone else. "Did? So what now you don't?" I questioned."Come on, baby, don't be like that," he begged. My whole world shattered like shards of glass at his pleading but I knew that pain consumed this relationship not love.

        "I've given you more chances then I should have, you just won't stop hurting me." His eyes flashed with pain but I ignored it. A single tear fell from his light blue eyes. "Please, baby, you can't do this," he begged. I can't do this? Anger  boiled within me, he was the one at fault.

       "I can't? This is not my my mistake, it's yours!" I snapped. I always had been loyal and I hated hurting others but you can't hold onto something that only causes tears. "I said sorry, you know I love you," he said. There was this saying, "if you have to choose between the first and the second, choose the second because if you really loved the first person you would have never fallen for the second." I quoted in my mind, to which my heart faltered more. "Sorry, does not fix the betrayal and pain I feel!" He just stared at me.

         "What if she was just looking for attention, you don't know the girls like I do. But still why did you call her hot if it was nothing?" I said. He looked away in shame. "This is stupid, I can't deal with this," He snapped. How pathetic, why couldn't he own up to his mistakes. "Can't  deal, yeah do what you do best and run away from your problems!" I shouted. Anger flared in his eyes and he pushed me against the wall and punched beside my head.

        I flinched away as a tear fell from my green eyes. He realized the fear  in my eyes and calmed a bit. "Please, just give me a chance," he begged. "You've  caused enough tears, I should've ended it before, all I did is stay beside you and you repayed  me by playing me?" How could he be so heartless. "I know and I am sorry, please, babe please don't leave me," he pleas.  As much as it killed me I pushed him aside and turned away.

        "Sorry, is not enough, it can't heal the scars you caused, I'm done." I started walking away as tears poured soaking my shirt. At that moment it's as if I saw him break inside and he lost all sense of  control. He grabbed my wrist harshly. "You can't leave me, I won't allow it!" Pain lashed throughout my arm like flames on my skin. "Ow, let go, your hurting me!" I screamed.

      "No, I won't let you break us apart Sky," he slammed me against the wall again. He kissed me and I felt sparks fly, only to fade at the realization of his abuse. "See you feel that, were meant to be together forever." He told me. "I have tried so hard but you broke me when all I have done is love you." I started crying again, the tears wouldn't stop and I hated feeling so weak.

        "I know baby, I can't change what I did but I don't wanna lose you baby." He continued, " believe me she was nothing to me, I love you," he said. Love? Did I even know what it meant any longer? "Then why would you do that, why would you hurt me like that?" I cried. "I don't know baby, I was just being stupid, I wouldn't want anybody else, your everything I wished for and I never meant to hurt you," He assured.

      I saw that he meant every word but that can't prove that he won't do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater, and he has given me the hardest choice in my life. I gave him so many chances before and he kept hurting me all over again. I didn't want to feel the pain, I was tired of crying.

I just wanted to be free of this heartbreak and happy. To stop hurting and to try and get back out in the world and to fight until I finally give in. The pain he caused is unbearable and I feel broken but I needed to be strong at this moment.

  I have to put myself first for once in my life and I can't always have someone else holding me back . So if something like this ever happened again , I will be able to handle it better. My first love, we were together for ten months and now, its coming to an end. It's so hard to leave and walk away but he's left me no choice, and its to much. I can't afford to hurt anymore.

I slowly feel like I am losing parts of me and falling apart. Like I am changing from the nice, sweet girl I built over the years into an icicle. I have always been her and I am losing her now. Suddenly, I just stopped crying and stared at nothing. It was like a relief swam over me I felt nothing, no pain, no hurt, and no emotions.

      Feeling absolutely numb to the point where love was nothing to me anymore. I couldn't even cry or feel the heartbreak anymore. It was just empty nothingness, a stone cold void. I knew from that moment that the old me was no more.

      "Baby, you okay?" He asked. He brought me back to the real world as I just glanced up and stared at him. No feeling of sympathy or feeling guilty for hurting him anymore. He hurt me more then anyone and so I just felt he deserved it.

    "Baby?" He questioned. "I am not yours to own," I said."You broke my heart," I said. He will only keep hurting me and I don't want that so I would let him go. "I know baby and I am very sorry, how many times do I have to say I love you," he said. "You could say it a million times over and it wouldn't matter because you will never  stop hurting me, so we are done." He didn't take it very well and tried holding me back.

   I yanked my arm free. "You have caused enough pain, you have shed to many of my tears and you are no longer worth it," I said. "Baby, please." He begged. "I said no." I snapped. "I am sick of you hurting me, no more."  He gripped me by the neck and held me there. "If you think for one second I'd let you walk out that door, you are wrong. "Let me go!" I kicked at him as he held me by my neck. "If I can't have you, nobody can!" I screamed and used all my might to fight him off. Finally kicking him in his groin, he lost his grip on my neck. He layed on the floor groaning and holding himself. "Goodbye." And at that instant, it took everything in me to walk out that door, I loved him but I knew, no man is worth that suffering. I'm Skylar Ann Heart and you only glimpsed my miserable life.

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Welcome to Sadness in Her Eyes, I am a new writer so let me know your opinion of any suggestions. Let your friends know of my book and help me share it. I will be updating a lot of chapters and making them the best I can, so bare with me thank you! 😊