As we head out Levi locks the room leaving Edi locked inside. Levi sighs and leans against the wall before sitting with his knees bent in front of him.
"Levi?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?.."
"I don't know, Ainsley. I honestly don't. I really love you, but I feel like I just do things and you don't pay attention.. I kinda feel like I'm wasting my time here. Don't get me wrong, I love you. I love you a lot, you know that.. But I just wish you would give me more attention, Y'know? Next time.. never mind, I think we need a break.. Baby steps, I guess.."
I'd start to tremble before breaking down into tears, I'd run towards the window opening it up and heading up the fire escape onto the roof. I'd sit on the edge, crying into my knees.
"I promised him that I'd always be by his side, but I can't even read our old conversations without breaking down into tears.. how am I gonna bare standing next to him, talking to him, hanging out with him, hugging him.. Knowing he isn't mine? I'll just break down all over again and I know I shouldn't, but I can't help staring at the man that I used to call mine without feeling my heart breaking even further.. I'll always wonder where I went so wrong, I'll wonder why he doesn't want to be with me.. And I'll always wonder who the fuck would date such a fucked up person like me? I don't blame him for leaving me, I'm a fucking mess inside and outside. He's just perfect.. I told myself I'd never fall in love again but here I am, heart broken, once again.. I gave him all of me but it wasn't enough, I gave him everything I could possibly give. But still, it wasn't enough. I unfriended some of the greatest people I've met to make him happy, but guess what? It wasn't enough. I guess that's it, I wasn't enough, what I gave wasn't enough. And I'll just have to get over the fact that we're living in completely different reality's, he's that nice, popular guy and I'll be that shy, broken, fucked up girl that know one knows. The reality is, he's too good for me.. And I'll never find someone to accept me and all my flaws, people keep telling me "is that your fault or theirs?" Its my fault, I should've known better.. They said they'll make up for it someday, but they never came back. So I'll just stay here alone and when I'm better I'll cut again, then go through a depressing phase, not eat for a while, then hopefully die.. And if I don't, I'll make sure I do.. Life just isn't for some people, neither is love.. And sadly, I'm one of those people.."
I'd keep crying into my knees, knowing no one was listening.
"I-I'm so sorry, Ainsley.. I didn't know you were so upset.." I hear a voice behind me say.
I'd turn around to see Levi standing there with tears slowly rolling down his face..
"It's fine"- I'd start to get up, brushing my clothes to remove any dirt-"What's done has been done, and what's said has been said" I'd start to walk to the fire escape stairs, but I feel his hand grab my wrist.
"Ainsley don't go, I love you, okay? I just want a break, I really don't know if I can do this anymore.. I don't want my heart to be broken, but I don't want to break your heart.. I just wanna give your heart a break, 'cause there's a limit to how much I can take.."
"I could always be what you want, but never what you needed.." I'd slip from his grip and run down the stairs, into the bathroom. I'd grab a razor and cut deeply into my wrist watching the skin tear apart and letting the blood pour out of me.. this is it, I want to die. I loved him, I loved once again and I got heart broken again.. this is gonna leave one hell of a scar god damn it, I'm gonna need a whole lot of long sleeves and sweaters..
A/N Sorry for such a short chapter but I needed to upload and I've had a few issues, everything will be fine though. I just need a small break :)
-Mini
YOU ARE READING
I thought he was the one..
Romance"C'mon kiss me, or are you too scared?" He said, even though I was blindfolded I could hear the smirk in his voice. "It would be much easier if I wasn't blindfolded and tied to a chair" I say, pissed. "It's your fault for trusting me" He say...
