🌺Solace 🌺( A Minjoon Story)[EDITING!!]

Chapter Three

Video by HZNightcore

This is a heads up for anyone who may fine this chapter triggering there is mention of rape but I just ran over it. Read at your own cost.    

Other than that please enjoy

                                                                             🌺🌺🌺

After the day of the speech Jimin felt free. A strange sense of liberation washed over him something he did not know how to respond to so he said fuck everything and went to an amusement park to enjoy himself because, why not? He wanted to get away from the majority. To take a breather. He shouted and yelled while hopping through various rides. He could not remember the last time he had so much fun in his life he allowed himself as much candy he a person could humanly handle. Sure people were watching him strange and he felt a little odd after coming out in front of an entire audience, but he had never felt so light as though a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders.

He could not stop smiling to himself for he had never felt more proud of himself even when he won those Seventeen  medals in an essay writing competition  or those countless times he place first in class with perfect grades.  Those were only for his parents, they were so happy even happier than him, he had to admit the situation had been a bit embarrassing; his mother kissing him all over his face, his father jumping like a child on stage attempting the dance. Yes HE danced, it was a horrid sight but he survived it. Even though, deep down he felt happy to see his parents like this, he still felt void something was missing and he did not know what it was.

The night's blackness blanketed the day's cheerful colors in a mesmerizing way as he sat atop the ferris wheel eating ice-cream he wondered if his life would be the same.

🌺

"Hello ma'am-"

"Yes did you find him?"

"Yes we think we have your son here."

"Where did you find him?"

"Found him at the back of an abandoned gas station on the verge of getting hyperthermia...But he is resting now."

"Oh God...My baby... I guess it's his sins he is paying for."

"Pardon me?"

"N-Nothing, is he available for us to see him right now."

"Right away if you are not busy-"

"Not busy! Not busy! That is my son you are talking about. Are you crazy sir."

"Calm down ma'am it was only a suggestion."

" A simple suggestion! My son have been missing for-"

"Sorry sir my wife is a little shaken up. We're on our way."

*The line goes dead*

🌺

Jimin lay curled up hugging his knees on the warm hospital bed, it felt refreshing  after nearly freezing to death.  But now he was angry about what? with who? He was very anxious to know what  his parents' response to his sexuality was because he just ran out on them the day he came out to everyone. But he was angry with his parents to be precise,  upset that they had set up a search party to find him.  He wished they had just left him to die instead. A strong sense of rebellion was buzzing through his entire body. What if returning home after the amusement park was the worst thing he could have done even though he had promised himself earlier that day that he would go off and become independent. But he had his own reason why he had returned. He wanted to see just a little bit if his parents loved him the same.  

Maybe just maybe.

That if he had returned to school nothing would have changed and everyone would respect him the same and that his name would still be the most popular in school. That maybe everyone would be accepting to his 'community' and maybe, just maybe, change some of their rules and their mental conception about it.

But something at the back of his mind told him that we only deluding himself.

His parents were giving him the silent treatment and it was sending him crazy. He was the type of person to who could not survive without some sort of dialogue, life becomes void no as if you were standing in a place of Armageddon where deadly objects are constantly flying past your head with amazing speeds and ricochet off surfaces only to target your head once again.  In short, it was complete chaos in his head.

At school was better at least they spoke, at least he knew what they were thinking of him-  ahhh and they were not modest about their thoughts one bit. On the bright side his name was still popular- he was only kidding himself there were no bright side. He was just trying to be optimistic but it was barely working for him.

He knew it was going to take all his willpower just to make it to the second period less the whole day.  The only reason why he was not sent home on expulsion was because his parents had a huge hand in the school's funding and -well they did not want to lose such a sweet deal.

🌺

Jimin sat in class trying to shut out the heart shattering murmurs all around him. They were only murmuring because the teacher was still in class, you know out of 'respect'. If the teacher was not there they would be saying it right to his face.  He held his head down feeling as though their words-dirty dripping homophobic slurs- were eating right through him, slowly torturing him painfully. He looked up trying to focus in what the teacher was saying.  The teacher stopped abruptly staring right at Jimin.

"Mr Park?!"

"Yes sir." 

"What are you doing? Are you checking me out now? I hope you know I'm not gay." He said causing an eruption of laughter. Yes it's true even the teachers were bullying him.

Jimin's heart palpated due the sudden embarrassment and he felt his blood running cold even the fast rate at which his heart was beating could not compensate for the coldness. His eyes prickled with water brimming inside them. The entire situation became overwhelming and he just ran out of class covering his face crying, but even then the comments did not stop. 

He ran for what seemed like hours tears clouding his eyes, he ran without direction or reason just ran like a madman.  It did not bother him when he fell, on broken glass in an old factory, and hurt his leg when people were staring at him. He simply continued running in hope of escaping his problems: all his insecurities.

What really sent him over the edge was the night he was raped, it just added to everything else that was happening to him at that time.  The perpetrator left him there in the cold alone to die. 

To die.

Dirty.

Worthless.

That was all he wished for, to die, incinerate, pulverize,vanish, disappear, just cease to exist some how or the other. He screamed out in desperation to no one in particular and to everyone; to the world, the universe, his lungs wheezing after but no one came... for hours, he waited...for days it seemed... but no one came.

 He wanted death but he was afraid of dying.

🌺