My Truth

Chapter 1

     Hi. My name is Ivana. I'm in grade eleven and this story is about my life. Sorry if that sounded selfish or self-centered; it wasn't meant to sound that way. Anyways, for you to understand more about me and my story, I'll need to give you some background about my life. Let's start on August 22nd, 2014:

     It was the last day of abuela's month-long visit (my grandma's visit on my dad's side), and I have never felt so nervous. Not for her trip back to South America, but for what was coming after. We all woke up early to drive her to the airport. Since things between my parents were at its worse point so far, my mom stayed home. Little did my dad know what the real reason was for her staying.

     So my sister, dad, abuela, and I went to the airport. While my sister and I were at the observatory section, my dad joined abuela to help her since she did not speak English. I couldn't stop sighing. My stomach felt that familiar feeling of anxiety that I knew so well. It was almost time. My sister kept telling me to stop sighing so much or else my dad will know that there's something going on. I tried to stop but couldn't. It was just too much. So my sister told me, if he asks, to say that I was acting that way because abuela left.

     I was terrified. I didn't know what would happen, how he would react. It was the scariest moment of my life. How will my dad act once we told him? I imagined he would throw things like he does when he gets overly mad. That he would yell at us. But then I thought that the police would be there, and that they'll help keep things calm. In a way, it would be a good thing if he acted that way in front of the police, that way I wouldn't have to see him ever again.

     We came back home and I started putting the last few things in a bag or box. We had this small room in the basement with three desks - for my sister, mom, and I. My dad had a full room for himself on the main floor that was bigger than the room where we three worked at. Anyways, as time passed, all the bags got full and the boxes were packed. They were all in a pile in the middle of the room. It was more than expected, but they were all important to us, like my guitar was important to me to keep.

     There was a moment where my dad was going down the stairs. We could hear his distinct footsteps. The ones that always stopped my heart for a second before going on a run. On that moment, we all froze and looked at each other in panic. We had everything packed up in the middle of the room. We had to make a quick decision on who goes to stop him from reaching the room. Since I had a better relationship with him than my mom and sister, I was the clear choice. So I left that room with my heart pounding against my chest to stop him halfway. I don't remember what he needed, nor what lie I said, but I remember how much panic I felt. He could've probably figured out something was going on. I just remember he needed something from the room, so I went to get it and gave it to him. I remember the panic my mom and sister had in their faces. I had to use all the years of experience of pretending to hide my panic. Once I gave it to him, he asked me what was going on, if I was okay. I just told him a lie to keep him away from that room.

     If he had reached that room, everything would go down to hell. No, worse than hell. It would've killed our souls and ripped our hearts and spirits. We would've been stuck in a place worse than jail, worse than hell. Oh god, how lucky we were that he didn't.

     Then the time came, my mom received a phone call from the police, saying they were outside. My heart started pounding. I could physically see the panic we all felt as my mom talked on the phone. The time came. First my mom explained to the police what was going on, that my sister and I were going to live with my mom, but then I heard something that broke my heart. We couldn't go with her. Oh how frighten I was. I didn't want to spend another minute in that house. It was the worse feeling. My mom panicked on the phone and asked why. I could hear their reply; that it was our choice, not hers. And then I sighed of relief. The police arrived earlier than expected. They were supposed to be there by 7:00 pm, but it was 6:30 pm. I guess we had to do it earlier than expected.

     My mom closed her flip phone and soon enough we heard the doorbell. When my mom went upstairs, my dad already opened the door to the police. He was obviously confused. My sister and I stayed hiding in the kitchen. I messaged my friend, who knew what was going, because I needed to talk to someone outside of that house. He wouldn't reply. It wasn't new because he was never there when I needed him. But my other friend, Alec, was. I messaged him and he replied pretty fast. I told him that it was time, and he told me words of comfort. I can't explain with words how much it meant to me what he did that day. He was there for me when no one else was.

     Soon enough, we went to the front, where the police and my parents were. The police officers, two women, were explaining to my dad what was going on, how we wanted to leave him, but were afraid of telling him without the police being there. Then it was our turn. The tallest of the two, who was doing all the talking, turned to my sister and I and asked us who we wanted to live with. I looked at my sister for reassurance. I didn't want to go first, I was scared of my dad's reaction.

     My sister said that she wanted to go with our mom. Then everyone looked at me. I looked at my dad in fear that he would start crying or yelling, but I finally let my words out of my mouth. I quietly said that I wanted to live with my mom while motioning towards her. My dad didn't react.

     After we told them our decision, my sister and I went downstairs and brought all our bags and boxes to the main floor. It took many times trips to get everything upstairs. When the cab arrived at the front of the house, we took everything to the van. The taxi driver saw the police at the front door and asked us what was going on. All the things that must've been going through his head at that moment. Before going on the cab, we said our goodbyes to our dad. He told my sister and I that we could always go back and visit him whenever. That we can call him if there's something wrong or if we simply just want to talk to him.

     We got our health insurance cards then got in the taxi cab. My mom was sitting in the front, while my sister and I sat in the middle, with all our stuff in the back. The taxi driver was really nice to us. My mom told him what happened and then the driver started talking about his family. He showed us pictures of his granddaughter on the phone. She was adorable.

     When we arrived at our new apartment, we took everything upstairs. One stayed in the apartment, while another one took everything upstairs, and the third stayed downstairs with the van, taking the things inside. I think my sister was the first to see the new apartment. She really liked it. I was the last. My mom already talked about how nice the apartment is, so I had imagined it to be glorious and amazing. It wasn't as amazing as I thought, but it was still nice and small, with an amazing view of the city's river.

     My mom payed the taxi driver and gave him a huge tip. I mean, he deserved it. He was so polite and didn't judge us or our situation. Now it was dinner time, so we went to a small local grocery store that was a block away. It was 9 pm. We got a few simple stuff to eat that didn't need heating or anything like that. Just bread, cheese, ham, and some drinks. Once we got back to the apartment, we sat on the dining room floor and ate our food.

     For only that night, we would all sleep in the small room since it was the only room with curtains. It was going to be my room. I was going to have my own room for the first time. My mom wanted to share her room and my sister didn't mind what room she got.

     We had three small mattresses on the floor with a few pillows. It was dark because it didn't have any light on the ceiling like the kitchen, dining room, or bathroom have. It was one of the hardest moments for me. I tried not to cry because I thought I had no reason to, but I did anyway. I couldn't hold it in. I missed that house, that bed, us being together. I didn't want my dad to be the way he was. I wanted us to still be a family, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. My mom sat down next to me to console me. I felt better after I let out all my tears, but I was still in pain. Soon enough, we went to sleep.