doubt

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this one's a vent. nothing really sparked this except for myself.

--

I sat there, on my own bed, doubting my entire existence.

Why am I here? I don't think it really matters anymore.

I knew that from a hundred hours from now, someone would be leaving my side. They would no longer care about me, and it would be my fault.

Everyone will do it at some point.

I took a deep breath of the hot air around me, struggling to get a grasp on peace. I couldn't, it was too far gone right now.

Maybe I am dead, maybe I'm just reliving nothing. Why don't I go ahead and just stop the movie?

I sit there on my bed, my hands trembling and my heart pounding in my chest, doubting everyone.

Is someone angry with me? I probably did something wrong.

It seemed at at this very moment, nothing but anger was pointed in my direction.

Everyone is getting sick and tired of your episodes. They happen too often.

Sometimes, I can feel it. The irritation from others growing whenever I'm entering a state of sadness.

.

I should probably stop telling them.

That would make it better, probably.

They wouldn't have to deal with me, and it might make them a bit happier.

That's exactly right, and that's what I'll do.

I laid down on my bed, and thought to myself, how to make it all end soon.

I don't want to be sad, but there's a tether holding me back.

I don't want to be sad, but I'm just too much of a doubtful person.

I want to be there for everyone, but I'm too scared if they're angry with me or not.

I don't do much, but I know its enough.

--


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⏰ Last updated: Oct 25, 2016 ⏰

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